WS 477 Sex and Disability

Listen to “WS 477 Sex And Disability” on Spreaker.

WS 477 Sex and Disability

 

First airing live on December 14, 2025, the Sex and Disability podcast built on the concepts first introduced in BDSM Play Furniture: using specialized tools and furnishings is good, actually. Every person will be impacted by disability at one point or another in their lifetime, whether your own or a loved ones, short or long term. Just because a person is disabled does not mean they’re suddenly un-sexed! Everyone has the right to find the methods, techniques, and accessibility options that make sex possible for them.

 

(0:03 – 14:44)
This is Whore School. You are listening. I am live.

Look, I reserve the right to amuse myself from time to time, okay? Whore School is adult sex education. We’re gonna discuss sex and disability tonight because it’s an important topic. Um, the simple honest truth is the odds are extremely good that at some point in your life you will become disabled to one degree or another.

Just is. Just a fact. And you’re probably still going to want to have sex because disability doesn’t make you non-sexual.

Yeah, that’s not how that works. If you are listening to the live stream, head to communitykink.com. That’s the chat room. It’s built on Java and screen readers should be able to use it.

In theory, I think so. If you have trouble with it, try communitykink.com slash chat slash mobile because that’ll that’ll bring about a more simplified version of the page. Matt, uh, Mott and Patty are in the chat and I swear I saw Giseline, but she ran away.

What a slut. Just kidding. You are a slut though, but in a good way.

Ooh, and Sissy Addie has joined us in here tonight. I have so many tabs open. So many tabs.

But, uh, you know, I think that’s a good thing. I should have many, many tabs open because this is an interesting and complex topic and I want to be able to cover it very, very well. So, uh, like I said, um, yeah, you will probably become disabled at some point in your life to one degree or another.

And it might be a short term disability. It might be a long term disability. But, okay.

Um, Oh, Miss Michelle has joined us in here tonight and Gizzy’s back. Well, hi there Miss Michelle. Sexy lady.

Oh yeah. Patty says that she doesn’t consider herself disabled, but according to the government of Canada, they are. So we’re going to discuss that though.

Uh, she says this isn’t about me though, since mine is mental, not physical. Ooh. Okay.

So the concept of disability all by itself is extra, extra fraught and complex because people do have a tendency to separate out a physical disability from a mental disability in ableist ways. I just used a new word. And if you’ve never heard that one before, ooh, brace yourself.

So ableist, to be ableist is a person who is prejudiced against people who are disabled. Yeah. Uh, and it’s really, really easy to be ableist, completely unconscious.

Like it’s not a deliberate choice for the vast majority of people. Uh huh. Patty says I don’t need the same level of accommodations.

I try not to like take up too much of the discussion. Uh huh. And that too is ableism, internalized ableism.

You deserve to take up as much space as you need to take in order to get accommodations for whatever your disability might be, whether that’s physical or nonphysical, like a mental disability. Disability is a disability. Patty said, Oh God damn, it’s too soon for this.

I know we’re like four minutes into the show and I’m going to make you cry. Sorry. Okay.

So, uh, disability. There’s a lot. Okay.

There are many, many, many, many types of disability that exist in the world. Um, cognitive, developmental, intellectual, mental, physical, sensory, or combinations are the types of disabilities. A disability is essentially a lack of ability.

I don’t know if the chat room is just extra unstable or if people are just joining and leaving, but people keep popping in and out. So to be disabled is to not be able to do the normal stuff of average life. Right? Isn’t that a terrible sentence to say it? Disability.

Okay. The state of having a physical or mental condition that makes it difficult to do some things that most other people can do. That’s it.

That’s the whole thing. So it’s possible. Patty says pop goes my heart.

Right? And Patty says it hinges on a definition of normal, doesn’t it? I know, right? Normal and average and what most people can do and what you can or cannot do. And also the level of how much you’re able to do may not be fixed. It might not be static.

You might be more capable of doing stuff on one day versus the next. It’s not a binary. It’s not on or off.

It’s not completely capable or broken. You’re not broken. Even if you are disabled, to be disabled just means there’s some things you can’t do.

That’s all. Having a physical or mental condition that makes it difficult to do some things that most other people can do. That’s the definition to be disabled.

So a person who is disabled, it can range all the way from somebody who is a quadriplegic. You cannot move your arms or your legs. You cannot stand.

You cannot walk. You cannot do anything. You are a head and a torso and then meat.

A person who is disabled might be somebody who has like a fucked up knee. They can’t stand for as long. Or they walk with a limp.

A disability could be, whoops, Miss Michelle had to run. The tech gods didn’t want her to participate tonight. That’s booey.

Patty said, this is genuinely something I’ve had to think about, not just with sexual stuff, but with relationships at all. Good emotional regulation is harder for me. So like, I always thought it would be close to impossible to have a normal relationship, romantic or sexual.

So your disability could be something like a person who has dyslexia. It’s harder for them to read because their brain processes visual information differently. And so like most people can read.

You look at a word and the letters stay on the page. They sit there. Hey, Kylie.

Hey, Jizzy. Hopefully the tech problems are going to calm the fuck down tonight. They’re being buttholes.

A person who is blind is disabled. They cannot see. A person who is deaf is probably not listening to this podcast.

A person who is neurodivergent in some way. ADHD can be a disability. It can make it very, very challenging to do things that most people do.

I have ADHD, undiagnosed. But I can look at the lists of symptoms and go, holy shit. Because yeah, so I am time blind as fuck.

I have to use assistive devices because otherwise I forget when things happen. Because I forget what day of the week it is. Much less the hour.

It sucks. I have so many alarms. Because otherwise there is only the endless now schedules.

Sounds fake. There are different levels of ability and disability. It becomes a sexual disability when it influences and affects the way that you have sex.

Patty says, I wish it was so easy. Right? If only having alarms was something that would actually work. Look, if I ever turned my alarm off, I am fucked.

Absolutely fucked. So trying to take like a daily multivitamin. I can never remember if I’ve actually taken it or not.

Whoops. Sissy Eddie says, is erectile dysfunction considered a disability? Yep. It is something that most people can do who have a penis.

And so having erectile dysfunction interferes with your ability to have sex. Or at least it interferes with your ability to use your penis to penetrate another person during sex. You’ll notice that that got a lot longer.

Okay, so let me backtrack just briefly. When we’re talking about people who are disabled, especially in the West, in North America, in America. Oh boy.

Depending on how disabled a person is. Our society and our culture has some pretty… Look, you know my opinion about Puritans, okay? Puritans looked at all forms of sex and sexuality and went, ew, that’s gross. And those are sins.

And you shouldn’t do it. You definitely should not seek pleasure in sex. And then they looked at people who had more overt disabilities, including mental disabilities.

So people who were low functioning, people who were autistic, people who had other issues going on, genetic or whatever was happening there, people who had been hit in the head and now they were a little bit special. You see all of that? People with Down syndrome. They looked at all of those and went, ah, they should not have sex.

Right? And this persisted for centuries. And it’s not until very, very recently, that the idea that all people, regardless of what their level of ability slash disability might be, all people have the right to sex. Consenting, willful sex.

Hey, Miss Tina, I see you popping in the chat. Right? For a very, very long time, persons who were mentally disabled were not allowed to be in relationships. Legally.

Legally, we’re not allowed to be in relationships. And an awful lot of people who were disabled, were taken advantage of sexually. Our history with people who are disabled, and sex and sexuality is not not good.

If you really want to depress yourself, go look that up. Because it’s unpleasant. In the United States today, if you are on SSI, which is social security insurance, because you are disabled, if you get married, your spouse’s income is deducted from the money that you get from your SSI.

It counts against your what you’re allowed to have. A person who is disabled, and on SSI is not allowed to have more than I think it’s $2,000 worth of savings. At any one point in time.

(14:49 – 15:18)
It’s not fun. It’s really terrible. This means that effectively persons who are disabled and are on social security can’t get married.

If they do, they run the risk of losing their income. And also losing their access to Medicare and Medicaid, their health care. You lose all of that when you get married.

(15:19 – 26:35)
Effectively, persons who are disabled cannot get married in the United States, which sucks a whole bunch. So that’s a pile of shit. It also means that because they can only have $2,000 worth of savings, they, you can’t have a 401k, you can’t have retirement savings and be disabled.

Oh, also, the minimum wage doesn’t apply to persons who are disabled. So if you go someplace like, say, Goodwill, and they have people working there who are noticeably like if you look at them and you think to yourself, Oh, that person is disabled. Yes, they probably are.

And they’re probably being paid like 25 cents an hour. And I wish I was kidding. But I’m not.

So not only are they not allowed to get married, they’re not allowed to have savings and they can be paid pennies. That’s crap. Okay, so our society has a real fucked up idea about disabled people and sex.

And oftentimes, it’s rooted in the idea that because they’re disabled in some way, they’re incapable of consenting, which means we must treat them as if they were children all the time and protect them from sex and sexuality. What we know now, from talking to people who are disabled, for example, persons with Down syndrome, is that no, yeah, they experience sexual urges. And that does not, like, it’s, that’s fine.

That’s completely normal. If they’re over the age of 18, you can call me Hey, let’s talk. Like, absolutely.

So people who have long term disability, that’s kind of that’s, that’s one thing, right? You were born with it or something happened, and it completely changed and altered your whole entire life. There’s also short term disabilities. So ever broke an arm? That’s a short term disability.

Ever broke a leg? Short term disability. That that’s what those are. People are popping in and out of the chat.

They’re like, I’m here. I’m gone. We’re just gonna assume that’s tech issues.

That’s fine. And he says, I’m so glad I don’t live in the US. Yeah, I know.

Right? It’s bullshit. This is crap. What a terrible system we have created for ourselves.

Huh. Not a fan of that. Popping around looking at all the places people are chatting.

So just to make sure I don’t miss anybody. You know, like you do. Aw, Jizzhead’s helping.

Thank you, Jizzy, for putting that in the proper spot in the Whore School Discord. Okay, so sex, sexuality and disability. If you’ve ever had a short term disability, you’ve gotten a little taste of what it could be like if you had this issue for longer than, you know, broken leg.

Was it three months to heal? Three or four months. So we have accommodations that are possible for persons who have a disability that can range from a special parking spot closer to the door of a business to make it easier for you to get from your vehicle into the store or office. We allow some businesses will have early, early in the morning, they’ll have low sensory shopping.

So instead of having, you know, the all the lights turned on, I hate those fucking overhead lights, they blink, I swear to God, they blink. And the loud, you know, shitty music, they turn the music off and they don’t turn all the lights on. So it’s a low sensory environment.

For persons who have problems, you know, with sensory input, it’s it’s too overwhelming to go to a crowded store. Like right now my idea of hell is Walmart. Between 3 and 5pm.

Dear God, that’s that’s the worst. I refuse to set foot in that store because it’s crowded and it’s loud and there are too many people and the lights are awful. And there’s too many people that I mentioned the people, there’s so many people.

That’s a cat. Why are you yelling? Well, it’s a Christmas Walmart fights, right? I ordered groceries from Walmart today because I was like, well, let’s you know, it’s a Sunday, but it’s supposed to freeze tonight. Let me order some groceries.

They were four hours late. I don’t know what happened at Walmart today. But Godspeed.

I am so sorry. Dear Walmart workers. That sucks.

I don’t know what happened. Thank you for bringing me groceries. Anyway, yikes.

Oh, yeah. Patty says that she gets accommodations for at school for tests, she gets extra time and iPod to listen to music and you can work in the test center with a lot less people around. That’s really pretty awesome.

Yes, there are various levels of accommodations. If you have a mental disability, you can get accommodations just like Patty said. If you have a physical disability, the little electronic carts at the front of the store, you can run around in those.

So you don’t have to walk. They’re great. I know so many people who whether from short term or a longer term disability, are embarrassed to make use of the various accommodations that are available for them.

I have no sense of shame. And therefore I’m the best possible person to go shopping with. Because I’m like getting the fucking cart.

Come on, get in the motor cart and like run over people’s feet. It’ll be great. Let’s go.

Like Patty says stop calling me out. Well, use your fucking accommodations. It doesn’t make you weak.

You are not faking you’re not pretending to have an issue. It is an actual real thing that is affecting your ability to live your life and be happy. Use the fucking accommodations.

Thank you. Thank you for attending my TED Talk. Okay, some people have wondered out loud, where I could hear whether or not just being chronically unlaid counted as a disability.

And no, it doesn’t. The lack of game, the inability to pull that doesn’t, that’s not a disability. That’s just, maybe you need to bathe more often.

You know, there’s other issues that are going on at the same time. In cells are not disabled. They don’t get accommodations when it comes to dating.

That’s not how that’s going to work. Because there are plenty of people who are very disabled who are still capable of dating and having sex. Even people who are extremely autistic can still have sex.

I know so many people who are autistic, who are in happy, loving marriages. Patty said technically you can call my inability to get laid part of my disability. But that’s because I just don’t have the confidence to do anything about it.

She said that’s supposed to be lighthearted. Yeah, that’s just a chronic lack of game. That’s all that is.

That’s not an actual like disability. Because there are people who are perfectly well abled, who also can’t manage to get laid. Like it’s, it’s wrong, wrong, wrong kind of ableism right there.

But it is possible to be so disabled that you literally can’t get laid. So imagine, if you will, a person who literally can’t move, a quadriplegic or a paraplegic, for example, can they still fuck? And the answer there is, yeah, of course they can. But call back to the start of the show, when I said, if you have a penis, you may or may not be able to actually use your penis to perform penetration on your partner.

Because sometimes the nerve damage or whatever is going on with your particular body means your penis does not get hard. You can still have sex though. We just need to redefine sex to something a little bit more broad than who stuck what where.

(26:42 – 26:56)
It’s not all penis in vagina. That’s not the be all end all of sex and sexuality. There are other things that you can do that absolutely count as sex.

(26:58 – 33:28)
You just have to get rid of the, well, if I can’t stick my dick in, it doesn’t count mindset. There’s other things that you can do for sex. Patty said, I get way too insecure real fast and get in my head, that happy relationship is out of the picture for me.

That’s not healthy. Yeah, and if you walk through the life immediately, assuming automatically that of course, you’ll never be in a happy relationship, that becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Because you won’t look, you won’t try and as soon as it gets difficult or hard, you’ll immediately give up.

Instead of talking about it, working things through and finding an accommodation that would work for you. Sometimes the accommodation might be, okay, if we’re going to discuss something that’s super emotional, I need 15 minutes so I can write it down first. And you have to be okay with the fact that I’m going to be reading notes.

Because otherwise, I can’t think I can’t get my thoughts and my emotions to work together long enough for me to be able to have a good productive conversation with you. I just I can’t do it. I need 15 minutes to write this down.

Which is perfectly fair. I think all relationships would benefit from having 15 minutes to write down some notes before you have a fraught conversation. Patty said, Can you expect someone you’re in a relationship with to accommodate like that when they can find someone who doesn’t have to deal with my problems? Why deal with me? And I’m just realizing how problematic that is.

My bad. Yeah, that’s a thing to talk to with your therapist about. And he says, Why do I have so much blood in my body? Jesus, stay in the vessels.

Yeah, um, because, okay, so real quick, and this is like, to the side, everybody will experience some level of disability at some point in their life. Every single one of us. I mentioned it a broken arm, a broken leg, you slip, you fall on the ice, and now you’ve got a sore butt.

And now you’re like, Oh, shit, I can’t sit. Hey, guess what? That’s a disability, bitch. All of us will experience various levels of disability.

At some point in your 50s and 60s, or 70s, or I don’t know when the hell they do it, you go in, and the optometrist is like, I’m gonna put these drops in your eyes, that’s going to dilate your eyes. And then afterwards, you can’t fucking see, hey, that’s a disability too. You will experience some sort of disability at some point in your life.

It is fucking guaranteed. It might be short term, it might be long term, could be cognitive. One of the fun things that’s on the rise, thanks to untreated, rampant COVID is strokes.

Strokes cause mental disabilities. You have memory issues, you have like you, you lose muscle strength and ability, you forget how to do things because your brain is like, Nope, sorry, part of me turned off. Right? There’s a bunch of shit out there that could go wrong and fuck you up in varying ways.

It’s, it happens. And if it doesn’t happen to you, it will happen to somebody that you happen to love. Because that’s like life.

What said this is a scary episode. Don’t worry, I’m about to get to the fun parts. Patty says I was so worried you were about to link vaccines to vaccines to autism when you said X was on the rise.

Thanks to. Yeah, no, there’s absolutely no causal link between getting a vaccine and autism. And we know this through multiple, multiple, very large studies.

Like there was a recent study in Europe that covered like 13 million people. So we can take that one little study that RFK was relying on that had 12, 12 research participants and we can pile that up against 13 million and say definitively, fuck that dude and his brain worm. Okay, so get get vaccinated bitches.

Tina says I experienced disability a little this week with my myopia surgery. I spent half a week at my parents house. Yep, exactly.

Yes. So think of who you are as a person. Right? You have sex, probably.

Unless you’re asexual, in which case you probably don’t have sex. That’s fine. Maybe you masturbate.

And now add a disability. Do you imagine that you suddenly become asexual? Because you don’t. You disability does not automatically equate to asexual.

(33:28 – 33:50)
Remember my stance that we say fuck the Puritans? Remember them? So the Puritans believed that people who were disabled were asexual. Fuck them. No, they weren’t.

(33:52 – 39:52)
Just like now we know that nursing homes for like the elderly. Oh, they fuck a lot. They fuck a whole lot.

And if you go into a nursing home and decide to have sex in there, use a condom. Because not necessarily because you can get pregnant. But because STDs and SDIs are rampant in nursing homes.

Everybody in there has got everything. Damn. Sissy Addie said old people are naughty.

They’re they some horny little motherfuckers. Old age, just because you’re old and now your hip doesn’t work so good doesn’t mean that you’re not a horny shit. You absolutely are.

So let’s talk about how you can fuck even if you have a disability of some sort. And it involves sex toys. Remember last week? Was it last Holy shit.

Yeah, I think it was last week. Last week, when I talked about BDSM play furniture, and woodworking. Remember that? Oh, somebody is trying to call into the show.

Yeah, no, we don’t do that here. That’s funny. So last week, I talked about BDSM play furniture.

Right. And sex pillows, sex pillows, man, come on. Somebody says that they can’t hear the show.

You hear me typing though. Hear me tip tap, tap, tap, tap. Refresh the page.

Accept the cookies still can’t hear it. Huh? It’s about the extent of how I know how to fix it. George.

Okay, George. On a desktop. Oh, God.

Try different browser. I don’t know. What said trolls? Trolls? What? Where? Huh? There’s trolls.

I like gnomes. Okay, so sex furniture. Seriously.

If if you have a physical disability that makes it difficult for you to get into position to fuck, try using sex pillows. They are stiff foam. Often they’re covered in a material that is water resistant for obvious reasons.

They come in a variety of shapes and inclines, like little wedges, and you can use them to prop your body up into the position that’s best for you to fuck in. Also, sex slings are great. Oftentimes they hook it’s like a stirrup that goes around your knee attached to a big strap and the strap goes from one knee behind your neck and down to the other knee, right? So that it holds your legs up for you and you don’t have to.

So for people who have problems getting into sexy, sexy positions, that’s the best possible way to do it. You just got to get into whatever position we’re in. So whatever works best for you.

And seriously, Extreme Restraints carries them. I listed a whole bunch from last week’s episode. And they are in the research and information channel in the Whore School discord.

So Stockroom, Extreme Restraints, and a couple of other places, Pound by Desire, Good Vibes, they all have various versions of sex furniture, sex furnishings, that are super duper useful for people who have problems. God, I hope they’re not trying to listen to the podcast directly in the chat room. That would be tricky.

In addition to sex furniture, sex toys come in clutch. But like I said, you have to let go of the idea that if you have a penis, being able to insert your penis into somebody else’s body is the only way to have sex. It really isn’t.

You have fingers. Those work too. Use your hands, use your mouth, use your tongue.

(39:54 – 42:57)
Let people rub up on your thighs, on your knee. Let them…what says elbow? Sure. So you can, if you bend your elbow, you can let somebody put their dick into the fold in between and they can thrust that way.

You can let them rub on your elbow, let them rub on your tits, let them rub on your neck. There’s a…I mean, come on. What said you had to think about it? Well, I can’t remember the proper name for it.

Like it’s just escaped my brain. It might be frottage. Intercural.

I remembered it. Intercural sex involves using the folds of a body. So knees, inner thighs, tits, and elbow or armpit.

Any place that one part of your body can touch another part and create a fold, you can stick a penis into and rub. Like it’s not all just about, oh, I’ve got to put my dick in your vagina. No, there’s other places you can stick that.

Well, it’s like ball sack. Depends on how sensitive a person’s ball sack is. I double dog dare you to go to extreme restraints and type in any version of scrotum restraint.

Go on. Ball sack, scrotum, CBT. Go on.

Put that in there. It stands for cock and ball torture. Depends on how sensitive your balls are, what you can do with them.

The world of BDSM opens up so many more interesting sorts of sensations that people can enjoy that are not just penis and vagina sex. And people who have disabilities often respond to extreme sensation in ways that are real fucking fun. So if you have a physical disability or chronic pain, chronic fatigue, some types of mental disabilities.

I’ve known people who have a bipolar, borderline personality disorder, but usually it’s the mood disorders that respond better. BDSM, especially for people with chronic pain, can be shockingly liberating and very, very good, because it’s a way for them to take control over what kind of pain their body is currently feeling. So if it hurts like hell when you stand up, right, right, because you’ve got chronic pain issues and your back is fucked up.

(42:57 – 46:58)
Sometimes it’s just really nice to be able to lay down and have somebody give you a spanking, because it’s a different pain in a different part of your body that you have control over and can make it stop anytime you want. That lights up different parts of your brain and different parts of your endocrine system and gives you happy fun endorphins in a way that chronic pain doesn’t. If you have chronic pain issues, or you want to try using BDSM, whether that’s rope for body restraint, constriction for supporting your joints, or if you want to use impact play of some sort, or any form of sensation play in order to fuck around with your own body, control the amount and type of pain that you’re experiencing, these are all absolutely valid.

And yes, it’s possible to get off on it. It’s very possible to get off on BDSM. Even if you are disabled.

And yes, disabled people can experience BDSM. All the different versions of it. If you are capable of consenting, then you can do this.

Absolutely. Even if the extent of your consent is to like, look at your the, you know, the, the letterboard thing that Stephen Hawking uses to communicate, like that, technically, he could consent. I don’t think historically speaking, though, he has not been given the option to consent or not.

So that would be kind of iffy. And I’d be very cautious about anything. But anyway, six pack wants to send me a private message.

No. He tried volume. I don’t know what that means.

The private message system on our chat room sucks. And I have it turned off. For a reason.

It covers the whole entire screen. And then to close it, there’s one pixel that you have to hit. I fucking hate it so much.

Drives me absolutely nuts. That’s very odd. Oh, you can’t hear me.

Do to do I can type. Patty says no, I’m thinking about Stephen Hawking having sex. Right? It’s a mental image.

It’s possible. Mott said you type fast. 80 words a minute.

On average, bitty fingers. And he said, didn’t he cheat on his wife with his nurse? Kinda. It’s entirely possible that his nurse took advantage of him.

So kind of iffy. Or at least that’s what I heard. Okay, so there are various advocacy groups out there in the world for persons who are disabled and want to have sex.

(46:59 – 52:29)
sexanddisability.org. Go over there. Because it is a it’s by people who are disabled. And honestly, I really like their banner image.

It’s people fucking in a wheelchair in a lot of different positions. There have been lots and lots and lots of studies about sex and disability. You can look those up.

There are disability rights groups who will absolutely advocate for people who want to be able to have really, really good sex, even if they’re disabled. Oh, no, not a crip. Also, that’s depending on the individual that may or may not be an insult.

So if it is an insult to you, I apologize. And if it’s not, then solidarity. Yo, sex toys.

If you have a disability that has impacted your ability to have sex, try sex toys. Trust me, they’re fun. You can get something like a remote control sex toy that’s controlled by an app.

Lovin’s. Seriously, we shill for Lovin’s in this house. As long as you can move one finger to control this toy, you could have your partner put this toy in and then and having a whole lot of fun with them.

And if you think that doesn’t count as sex, talk to your therapist because that absolutely counts as sex. You helped your partner get off. That’s sexy as fuck.

It’s also possible that with your partner’s assistance, you can get off. You have more erogenous zones than just whatever body part you have between your thighs. There’s a whole lot more skin for one thing.

And you have your mind. Mott shared a link to the Solus, which is a Lovin’s toy. It’s a blowjob machine.

They exist. I was thinking of the Edge. But sure, that too.

Just shove it up your ass and let me vibrate the hell out of your prostate. Unless you don’t have a prostate, in which case I will not be vibrating the hell out of your prostate. Instead, I’ll just be playing with all the other nerve endings in your ass, which are also fun.

Remember to stock up on plenty of lube. Make sure that you are in a position that is comfortable for yourself to sustain hopefully, for long term, or at least 15 minutes or so, however long it takes for you to get off. And the use of sex pillows and sex slings can be extremely helpful for that.

Remember to be able to communicate with your sex partner about what feels good, what doesn’t feel good, and what you would like more of. Even if the extent of your communication is a thumbs up or thumbs down. As long as you can communicate in some way with your partner, and trust me BDSM, we have ways.

We can put a ball gag in you and blindfold you and I can still make sure that I get good consent out of you both ahead of time and during. Because a good dom sets up communication systems. For example, if you want to restrain somebody and put a ball gag in their mouth so that they cannot talk and tie their hands up so they cannot wave their arms around and put a blindfold on them so they can’t see shit.

But you still want to be able to know when they have a problem and need you to check in, right? You get those, you know, the little jingle balls, like for cat toys. You make them hold that if they drop it, whether by accident because they’ve like passed out or something. God, I hope not.

Or on purpose because they dropped it. To get your attention, you will hear the jingle. And that tells you Oh, let me check in.

Let me check with my person and see what you do, how you do and where are you at, etc. Now if you have a cognitive disability that makes talking about your emotions and your feelings, and sex and sexuality, difficult, that’s okay. Lots of people have that.

(52:30 – 57:44)
Lots and lots. Oh my god, so many people have problems talking about what they want in bed. Trust me.

I’m good at it because I do it professionally. I talk about what I want in bed all the fucking time. And I’m really great at talking to other people about what you want in bed, because I have no sense of shame about this.

I’m not going to be like silly. What do you like? Oh my gosh, really? No, only if you pay me to do that. And that requires that you tell me ahead of time, that this is how you want me to act.

In which case now I’m acting. Let’s do that. Great.

Patty says the call outs continue. The call outs will continue until behavior improves. You have to be able to communicate with whomever it is in one way or another.

If the only way you can manage to have a conversation about your sexual desires and needs is in writing, write it down. Your partner should theoretically be willing to meet you at least halfway. So if you say to them, Okay, I really want to ask you to do something.

But this is extremely embarrassing and kind of weird and confusing. And I don’t know. I don’t know how to say this.

So I want to try writing it down. And if your partner goes, No, God, the only way that’s valid for communicating about sex is if you say it out loud, impromptu, right now. I don’t know if your partner is super duper, like, gonna work for you.

Because, yikes. Patty said I can write out a ton about sex stuff. But I realized talking about it was really hard.

And I thought like, well, if I can’t even say it out loud, I must not be ready for it. I can type. And Patty said I even noticed doing sessions with y’all as soon as I got on the calls.

I really wasn’t saying much. Well, that’s because we’re all very wordy bitches. We talk a lot.

You know, I have noticed that Podbean, I can’t listen to the other Podbean shows on my computer. I had to do it on my phone. So let me type that in.

It sucks. Yeah, so I don’t know what’s wrong with Podbean and the computer. But I can use it to broadcast but I cannot use it to listen on my computer.

I don’t know why. Not pretty. And I’ve tried it on Firefox, Edge and Chrome.

It’s fucking weird, man. I’m I’m afraid to poke it and touch it too much. Because if I ever break it to where I can’t broadcast, I will cry.

Like a lot. Oh, Gizzly is smart. If you have a mobile device like an iPhone or iPad, try visiting the link there and on that page request, select request desktop site.

Magic. I don’t know how that fucking works. My my rudimentary computer skills do not compute.

It doesn’t work. I don’t know. It’s above my head.

It’s written on JavaScript. So I have a ton of links, they will be going up in the Whore School Discord server. Because seriously, I have so many I have disability facts and statistics.

(57:44 – 59:29)
If you’re under age 35, the chances are one in three that you will be disabled for at least six months during the course of your career. Men have a 43% chance of becoming seriously disabled during their working years and women have a 54% chance. Three in 10 workers entering the workforce today will become disabled before retiring.

That’s from the Social Security Administration, their fact sheet from January 31, 2007. 71% of American employees live paycheck to paycheck. One in seven workers can expect to be disabled for five years or more before retirement.

Some shit. I don’t know why it won’t fucking work. Gizzy said if you’re in the browser on your mobile device, it’ll ask to open the Podbean app, but click cancel and then it loads in a browser window.

Then in the corner, there should be settings for that page. You can request desktop site to make it play. Huh.

That’s kind of clever. I don’t know. Sometimes Podbean works and sometimes it doesn’t and I don’t know why.

(59:32 – 1:00:06)
I have no control over that. I am not in charge of Podbean and it is a Podbean issue. It’s not an us issue.

You’d think it would work. We pay a lot of money for it to work and it doesn’t. It’s very annoying.

Okay, Whore School is adult sex education. I hope you’ve been educated or at least partially entertained. Try not to be too depressed about whether or not you’re going to be disabled at some point because don’t worry, even disabled people can fuck.

(1:00:07 – 1:00:49)
If you need help or advice figuring out how to fuck, hey, give me a call. Join the Whore School Discord. The link is in the show description so that you can get a hold of all these resources that I’m about to be sharing because there’s a lot.

Thank you guys for listening. I hope that you did enjoy listening to the show tonight because I think I did a good job. Thank you guys for listening.

Whore School will be back again next week, the 21st, which is the solstice. How fun is that? All right, I will see you all later. Good night.

 

Find the Whore School Schedule right here, and remember to join the Whore School discord for more memes, connection, and all the resources used by Ms Harper for the show. Whore School is adult sex education with no fear, no guilt, and no shame!