Listen to “WS 478 Winter Holiday Sing Along” on Spreaker.
WS 478 Winter Holiday Sing Along
For the Winter Solstice on December 21, 2025, Mistress Harper put out the call to all her Mistress friends and they came in like FIRE!!! Singing is for everyone, not just for professional singers. We used to all gather around the piano and sing together at parties, before reality TV shows and superstars convinced us all that we’ll be ridiculed and laughed at for being a little off-key. Screw that! Pull up your panties, clear your throat, and sing along with Harper and friends!
Participants:
Becky: Jingle Bells 3:39
@MsBeckyEnchants
@msbeckyenchants.bsky.social
LDWBecky
https://intelligentphonesexcalls.com/
Bianca: Dirty Jingle Bells parody 1:08
@MissBiancaEE
@enchantrixbianca.bsky.social
LDWBianca
https://kinkyphonefantasy.com/
Sascha: Deck the Halls 0:50
@SaschaEnchants
@saschaenchants.bsky.social
LDWSasha
https://kinkblogger.com/
Krista and Demi: Frosty the Slut Bag 0:52
@KristaEnchants
@mzkrista.bsky.social
https://phonesexfetishblog.com/
@DommeDemi
@goddessdemi.bsky.social
https://sensualcocktease.com/
Andi: Oh Darkest Night 2:16
@empressandi
LDWAndi
https://www.phonesexprincessblog.com/
Meshelle: Stille Nacht 1:46
@TheeDivineMe
@themasturbarix.bsky.social
https://themasturbatrix.com/
Hunter: Here Comes Mistress 0:56
@empresshunter
LDWHunter
https://www.intelligentfantasies.com/
Aurora: Wet Christmas 1:22
@mindfulaurora
@mindfulaurora.bsky.social
LDWAurora
Kay Marie: Walking Through A Kinky Wonderland 1:02
@enchantrixkay
LDWKayMarie
https://www.mistressofmore.com/
(0:05 – 0:26)
You know, I’m gonna set fire to Podbean. I seriously am. I’m going to light the whole fuckin’ thing just on fire because it’s… Jesus fuckin’ monkey christing shit.
(0:26 – 0:50)
Okay, so I don’t know why Podbean is like this, but now it has hidden the music from me. Send help. Okay, just send help to me because I’m going to set things… I’m gonna… Why is it like this? Okay.
(0:50 – 1:19)
Whore School is adult sex education, and I have music to play for you guys because it is the winter holiday sing-along. That’s happening. It’s frickin’ happening, okay? Okay, one way or another, even if I have to go track shit down and light it up, I will.
(1:19 – 1:28)
I will light things on fire. Okay, I’m fine. You’re fine.
(1:29 – 1:44)
Everyone is fine. Look, we’re good, right? Oh my god. But seriously, it’s hidden the panel where I can select what I’m going to be playing as a song, so I don’t know how that’s going to work.
(1:45 – 2:20)
Welcome to whore school, where sometimes technology is a bitch, and then I set things on fire with the power of my aggravation and my mind. But that’s not very winter holiday sing-along, is it? It is, in point of fact, the winter holiday sing-along, and I do have songs from people. I know, right? Everybody’s like, wow, Podbean’s being a butt.
(2:20 – 2:25)
I’m aware. I see this. Show me the fuckin’ music.
(2:29 – 2:36)
It’s fine. It’s great. It’s wonderful.
(2:36 – 2:57)
It’s everything I ever wanted in my life right there. Why? Why are you like this? Maybe if I… Ha! I found a workaround. I found a workaround.
(2:58 – 3:33)
You know how if you press control minus, you can shrink everything on your screen really small? I did that, and now I can see the list of songs, because there’s nine of them. Technically, ten of the ladies got together and recorded themselves singing winter holiday songs for you and for me, and some of them recorded them because I’m a butt and apparently bullied them into it. I don’t think I was bullying anybody, but you know what? That’s fine.
(3:37 – 3:54)
All I did was say, ooh, you should record winter holiday songs. It’ll be fun, and apparently force of personality was enough to make people feel like they had to. Oh, also, you should go to the chat room.
(3:54 – 4:17)
The chat is open. I’ve got Patti, Mott, Giseline, Demi Owns Me, and Mistress Meshelle have all popped in over here to join us tonight, because apparently they want to hear what’s happening. They want to listen to me cuss out Podbean for five minutes.
(4:27 – 4:41)
Patti says, I’m not going to say I don’t believe you. All I’ll say is that Miss Harper is definitely the person I’d vote most likely to be a bully. It’s not bullying.
(4:42 – 4:53)
It’s peer pressure. Here, I can prove that I’m a little teensy tiny bit of a bully. This is from Miss K. Marie.
(5:05 – 5:31)
I can’t carry a tune in a basket, but I have lots of friends that quite twisted, because if it’s a birthday or a holiday, they will make me sit and get their kicks. This is what we do for lots of funsies, and now you know one of our little kinks. We will punk each other.
(5:32 – 5:45)
This is what we do, walking through a kinky wonderland. I’m sorry that was so bad, everyone. Happy holidays and the very best for the new year.
(5:46 – 6:12)
From my home to yours, Miss K. Marie. I need you to know I about fell the fuck out when I heard that. That was from your mistress of more, Miss K. Marie, and her rendition of walking through a kinky wonderland.
(6:12 – 6:31)
You can find her on Twitter, or X, at Enchantrix K-A-Y, and she’s also on Discord, L-D-W-K-M-A-R-I-E. She is awesome, and I adore her. She had backing music.
(6:31 – 6:37)
That’s so fucking cool. It was awesome. It’s amazing.
(6:42 – 7:13)
I swear I didn’t bully anybody into participating. I may have begged. The reason why some of the beautiful ladies participated in the winter holiday singalong this year was because, so when I was like, you guys should record yourself singing something for me, and it’ll be great.
(7:13 – 7:22)
A whole bunch of them were like, oh, no, I can’t sing, which, first up, lies. Absolute lies. Everyone can sing.
(7:22 – 7:37)
Just because you may not sing on a professional level doesn’t mean you can’t sing. You sing beautifully. I was like, look, my philosophy for singing.
(7:37 – 8:12)
Before we had professional singers and superstars and all of that shit out there in the world, everybody would sing. Singing was a community thing. You’d get together with your family and your friends, and people in houses had a piano, and somebody would sit down and bing out a song, and everybody would gather around, and they would sing, you know, as a community activity.
(8:14 – 8:31)
It wasn’t about putting on a professional-level performance. It was about having fun and singing together and doing something creative with everybody. People, by the way, have been joining us in the chat.
(8:31 – 8:37)
Six Pack is in here. Hey, Six Pack. Can I see you, Miss Addie? I see you sneaking in here.
(8:37 – 8:55)
Hi, girl. So don’t think that you have to sing on a professional level in order to be able to sing. See, Patti says that she would love to, just for a small group, but those never really happen.
(8:55 – 9:20)
It’s either by myself or in front of a whole crowd, and that makes me nervous. And that’s because we’ve added a whole series of layers of intimidation and bullshit on top of singing, because now you turn on the radio and you hear professional-level singers, like auto-tuned voices. But we don’t sing.
(9:20 – 9:57)
And really, I think America’s Got Talent or Next Superstar, Idol, whatever, I think that fucked us up culturally. I think it destroyed non-professional singing, because we had all these people who were like, yeah, sure, I can sing, and they get up in public, and then everybody’s laughing at them and mocking them. And you’ve got these industry people going, you can’t sing, you suck, and we hate you, and you’re a terrible person for even thinking you were good enough to stand in front of us.
(10:03 – 10:17)
Which… Pardon me while I throw up, because that’s gross. See, Mistress Meshelle says, I love caroling during this time of year. Girl, I heard your audio.
(10:17 – 10:35)
I went through and I normalized the audio volumes, so they should all be roughly the same volume. Which reminds me to ask, oh, chatroom, was that loud enough? Because I can make it a little bit louder. Was that loud enough? Oh, six-pack can’t hear anything.
(10:36 – 10:51)
Oh no. That sucks. Typing sounds.
There you go. All right, so Jizzy says it was loud enough. Okay, good.
(10:53 – 11:02)
Patty says, ooh, is Goddess on this list of singers tonight? Oh, hell yeah, she is. Yeah. Miss Meshelle is in here.
(11:03 – 11:16)
Honestly, all of the Femme Dame Friday’s main ladies, everybody who always shows up is in here. Miss Aurora sent me three songs. I was like, I’m picking one.
(11:18 – 11:34)
You get one. So I’ve done Christmas and holiday songs before on Whoreschool. And it’s always stuff that’s in the public domain, which means the copyright has run out on it.
(11:34 – 12:14)
And I can use it completely as written without having to track down whoever owns the copyright and begging for permission. Or you can take something that’s not in the public domain yet and write dirty lyrics to go with it. For example, both Becky and Bianca have given me versions of Jingle Bells.
(12:23 – 12:34)
So let me check. Yeah, Jingle Bells is in the public domain, but also they just went straight dirty with it. Love that for us.
(12:34 – 12:39)
Okay. Patty said Jingle Bells isn’t public. No, it is.
(12:40 – 12:56)
It is. I know. So, yeah, one second.
(12:59 – 13:11)
Man, I’m having so many technology issues. I don’t know. Why is the technology fucking up on me tonight? Okay.
(13:11 – 13:19)
So we have here. Let’s start us off with Miss Becky because I really liked her version. It came out nice.
(13:21 – 13:35)
So here I am being bullied into making this little Christmas jingle for you. Mistress Harper cuts a hard bargain. I’ll tell you that much right now.
(13:35 – 13:51)
So are you guys ready for this? I mean, are you really, really ready for this? All right. I’m going to do it. Listen, I found some verses that I’ve never actually sang before.
(13:52 – 13:58)
So I’m going to try to sing them in the tune, but like, it’s going to be bad. All right. It’s going to be bad.
(13:58 – 14:09)
Ready? Let’s go. Dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh. Over the fields we go, laughing all the way.
(14:09 – 14:19)
Ha, ha, ha. Bells on bobtail ring, making spirits bright. What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight.
(14:19 – 14:33)
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Hey, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
(14:33 – 14:48)
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. A day or two ago, I thought I’d take a ride. And soon Miss Fanny Bright was seated by my side.
(14:48 – 14:54)
Ho, ho, ho. The horse was lean and lank. Misfortune seemed his lot.
(14:54 – 15:07)
He got into a drifted bait, and then we got upsot. Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.
(15:08 – 15:22)
Hey, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. A day or two ago, the story I must tell.
(15:23 – 15:31)
I went out on the snow, and on my back I fell. Ha, ha, ha. A jet was riding by in a one-horse open sleigh.
(15:32 – 15:45)
He laughed as I sprawling lied and quickly drove away. Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.
(15:45 – 15:58)
Hey, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Now the ground is white.
(15:58 – 16:05)
Go it while you’re young. Take the girls tonight. Sing the sleighing song.
(16:05 – 16:14)
Just got Bob to help bay. 240 is his speed. Hitch him to an open sleigh, and snap, you’ll take the lead.
(16:14 – 16:27)
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Hey, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
(16:28 – 16:46)
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Harper, I don’t know if I like you very much anymore. Oh, just kidding.
(16:47 – 16:56)
Oh, that was actually kind of fun. I hope you guys enjoy those, and I know you won’t. Happy holidays, everyone.
(16:57 – 17:06)
That was awesome, and I did love it. I like the old lyrics. I like old, yeah, the good shit.
(17:07 – 17:17)
You can find Miss Becky. She’s on Twitter, MissBeckyInChance, or Blue Sky, MissBeckyInChance. Same thing, .busky, that’s social.
(17:18 – 17:27)
She also has a blog. IntelligentPhoneSexCalls.com is where you can go find her. Frickin’ adore it.
(17:27 – 17:48)
So, jingle bells is, oh, I just closed that tab. It was written by James Lord Pierpont. It was originally published in 1857, so hell yeah, it’s definitely in the public domain.
(17:49 – 18:09)
One of my favorite ones is from an 1849 poem set to music by Edmund Sears, pastor of a Unitarian church in Massachusetts. It came upon the midnight clear. I’m telling you, I like the old shit.
(18:09 – 18:17)
Because it’s so good. Oh, hey, Tina has joined us in the chat room tonight. Hey, Tina.
(18:18 – 18:25)
Hi, girl. So, it came upon the midnight clear. It’s from the United Methodist Hymnal.
(18:25 – 19:45)
It made it into the Lutheran Book of Worship. It’s pretty good. It came upon the midnight clear That glorious song of old From angels bending near the earth To touch their harps of gold Peace on the earth, goodwill to men From heaven’s all-gracious King The world in solemn stillness lay To hear the angels sing Now, there’s five stanzas to the poem, so obviously it keeps on going, and I’m not going to sing all five of them, but the old ones, the old ones are the ones that just, they get me.
(19:46 – 20:04)
I love them so much. It’s possibly because when I was growing up, I was a Southern Baptist, and technically, Southern Baptists, you’re not supposed to sing in church. Like, you can’t sing.
(20:04 – 20:31)
It’s a whole thing, but I’m not saying that we were naughty. I’m just saying we were naughty. We were bad in my household because we would absolutely freaking, we would sing Christmas songs.
(20:31 – 20:49)
The old ones. The old ones. So, Patty says, if the bar for naughty is singing in church, the bar is very fucking low.
(20:50 – 20:58)
No, we didn’t sing in church. We sang at home because we weren’t supposed to sing in church. Oh, and he’s like, there are rules for singing.
(20:58 – 21:03)
If you’re a Baptist, there are. You can’t sing. You’re not supposed to.
(21:03 – 21:13)
Like, strict Southern Baptists, there’s no singing. Women aren’t supposed to wear pants or cut their hair. Ma said, Jesus Christ.
(21:13 – 21:29)
I know, right? But my family, all four of my great-grandfathers were ministers, not Baptist. Three Lutherans and a Methodist. And so, church songs were a big part of the family.
(21:30 – 21:40)
I have no idea why I wound up Southern Baptist, given that there were Lutherans and Methodists to choose from. We wound up Southern Baptist. Yeah, okay.
(21:41 – 21:58)
So, Hark the Herald Angels Sing is an English Christmas carol from Charles Wesley, written down in 1739. It’s another one about wanting to hear angels singing. I dig it.
(21:58 – 22:34)
It’s based off of Luke 2, verse 8. And it’s been set to Mendelssohn or Handel wrote versions of it, which is pretty cool. I’m not sure which person wrote the tune that I know it by. So, whichever one made it into the Methodist hymnal that I learned it from.
(22:37 – 23:29)
Hark the Herald Angels Sing Glory to the new-born King Peace on earth and mercy mild God and sinners reconciled Joyful all ye nations rise Join the triumph of the skies With angelic hosts proclaim Christ is born in Bethlehem Hark the Herald Angels Sing Glory to the new-born King A bunch of the holiday winter songs that I grew up with are overtly Christian. So, sorry about that. But, right? Meshelle said I had no clue that song was so old.
(23:29 – 23:37)
It’s real fucking old. I love the old ones, though. The older it is, the cooler it is.
(23:37 – 23:52)
Which is why I’m going to dive straight into Miss Meshelle, the song that you sent to us, Chef’s Kiss. I love it. Happy holidays, lusty people.
(23:52 – 24:12)
This is Goddess Meshelle of themasterbatrix.com exuberantly answering Miss Harper’s call to lend my lush vocals to her joyous festivities. One of my favorite parts of any winter holiday celebration is the music. And for as long as I can remember, this divinity has enjoyed caroling.
(24:13 – 25:21)
Nothing says celebration like gathering with a group of people to share songs and hot drinks for the express purposes of lifting spirits, calming minds, and spreading good cheer. Because of this, I know a fuckton of carols, and I’d like to share with y’all one of my favorites. Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht Alle schläft einsam wacht Nur des Trautehock heilige Paar Holt der Knabe im lockigen Haar Schläft in himmlischer Ruh Schläft in himmlischer Ruh Stille Nacht, or Silent Night, is my favorite carol because I learned it over the course of a few Christmases from my overseas relatives who’d sometimes visit us way back when.
(25:21 – 25:38)
It is my ardent hope that you enjoyed my contribution to these yuletide celebrations that Ms. Harper has so graciously hosted tonight. Danke! Frickin’ loved it. Oh my god, Ms. Meshelle.
(25:40 – 26:09)
You sing so purdy. I, uh, I, I, I, and the history, yes, yes, Silent Night is a really hard song to sing because it’s got such a frickin’ range in it. If you don’t start it at a good spot for your voice, you’re either gonna screw up when you hit the Silent Night at the end, or Heavenly Peace.
(26:09 – 26:16)
One of those is gonna get you. Love Silent Night. Oh my god.
(26:17 – 26:34)
Silent Night was composed in 1818 by Franz Gruber, not the guy who stormed the Nakatomi Tower. Different Gruber. He wrote the music, Joseph Mohr wrote the lyrics, and it’s from Austria.
(26:35 – 26:58)
It was declared an intangible cultural heritage by UNESCO in 2011. It’s a really, really frickin’ good song. I will now perform for you Silent Night in English because I’m not quite brave enough to attempt it in a language I don’t speak.
(26:58 – 28:02)
Mad props to you, Miss Meshelle. Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright, round yon virgin mother and child, holy infant so tender and mild, sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace. See? You gotta start it kinda higher than you think you’re going to.
(28:02 – 28:38)
Otherwise, by the time you hit that last heavenly peace, you’re kinda fucked. By the way, that was Mistress Meshelle singing Stille Nacht for you. You can find her on Twitter at Thee Divine Meme or on BlueSky at TheMasterPatrix.Busky.Social and of course, her blog is TheMasterPatrix.com. Definitely follow her around because oh my god, I have such a crush on Miss Meshelle.
(28:38 – 28:45)
I really do. She’s so good. She’s great.
(28:47 – 28:55)
Are you leaving us, Miss Patty? Are you running off? Bye. We’ll miss you. Go sing some songs.
(28:56 – 29:01)
Go caroling, it’s fun. Oh, and Miss Meshelle has gotta go too. Bye, Miss Meshelle.
(29:02 – 29:19)
You are awesome and we love you. So, it’s not all silent night and ancient hymns. There’s some more modern songs that we can also do.
(29:23 – 29:35)
For example, I had a cat in my lap. Every time I sing, I wind up with a cat in my lap. She’s just like, oh, you’re singing? I’m joining in.
(29:37 – 29:55)
Thanks. This is fascinating. The carol of the bells, the music’s in the public domain, the lyrics aren’t.
(29:59 – 30:18)
So mean. What do you mean the lyrics aren’t in the public domain? Patty said, does that mean I have a cat mentality? You’re gonna climb in my lap because I’m singing. So, more modern songs.
(30:19 – 30:42)
Sometimes we can take a more modern song and twist it around and make it legal through fair use. And that means anything that is a parody of a song that is still under license is allowed. And that’s how we can get away with things like this.
(30:43 – 32:15)
Take it away, Miss Aurora. I’m dreaming of a wet Christmas Just like the ones I do at home When I’ve got my presents And some fun time To spend not only on my own I’m dreaming of a wet Christmas With you nestled between my thighs And you’re working to please me all night Oh, wet Christmases are nice I’m dreaming of a wet Christmas With stockings, garters, whips, and lace If you can also be naughty then Christmas can be wet in every place I love a good dirty parody. There’s something.
(32:16 – 32:23)
It’s just fucking fun, y’all. It’s just awesome. Hey, Chiselene left us tonight.
(32:24 – 32:37)
Ran away. Boo. As you can tell, there’s a range of singing ability and voices with the Enchantrix Empire.
(32:38 – 32:47)
And I adore them all. There’s no such thing as bad singing to me. Ever.
(32:47 – 33:08)
All sounds are good sounds. Especially if they’re heartfelt sounds. So if you’re dreaming of a wet Christmas I mean, yeah, why not? Dream of a wet Christmas.
(33:08 – 33:25)
Did you know that Frosty the Snowman is in the public domain? It’s true. Frosty… I’m fairly certain Frosty’s in the public domain, actually. Let me double check.
(33:26 – 33:44)
And if he’s not, well, we’ll just have to make do with a dirty parody. Of Frosty the Snowman. An easy way to tell if anything is in the public domain is if it is more than 99 years old.
(33:44 – 34:09)
So, Frosty the Snowman… Why doesn’t this have the date it was created? You booger butts! Oh, it’s from 1950, so it’s not in the public domain. You little jerkasses! My favorite part of Frosty the Snowman, of course, is the chorus. Thumpity thump thump thumpity thump thump Look at Frosty go.
(34:10 – 34:30)
Come on. Thumpity thump thump thumpity thump thump Over the hills of snow Tell me your mind didn’t go someplace incredibly dirty with that. You were lying.
(34:30 – 34:43)
You know that your mind went someplace very, very dirty. Because thumpity thump thump What’s he thumpin’ on? You know what he’s thumpin’ on. Frosty’s a little slut.
(34:43 – 35:51)
And Miss Krista and Demi can prove it. Frosty the Slutbag Had frost around his mouth From all the times he stood in line Just to suck one out There must have been some magic In his mouth that had no tee Because once he got ahold of a cock The guy would blow his seed Oh, Frosty the Slutbag Had to hurry on his way He had to go, now we’ll never know How many dicks he sucked that day I about fell the fuck out. Okay.
(35:53 – 36:43)
That was from Miss Krista and Miss Demi. But I forgot to tell you, you can find Miss Aurora on Twitter at MindfulAurora and the same on Boozguy and she does not yet have a blog but as soon as she does, you know, I’ll add it to my feedly for you guys and let everybody know. Now Miss Krista, you can find her on Twitter at KristaInChance which is pretty great, right? Or you can follow her on BlueSky MsKrista, that’s MZKrista at BlueSkySocial She has a blog, PhoneSexFetishBlog very similar to my blog, don’t get us mixed up or do get us mixed up and then do a two mistress call with us because it’d be fun.
(36:45 – 37:25)
You can find Demi on Twitter DomDemi D-O-M-M-E-D-E-M-I DomDemi or BlueSkyGoddessDemi Her blog is SensualCockTease.com It’s pretty sweet, right? So… Oh, somebody left a comment in the Podbean chat that 70 years and it’s considered public domain. I think it has to be 99. Yep.
(37:26 – 37:35)
Because it was published in 1950. Which is a shame because I really want to sing Frosty the Snowman. Because I think that would be funny.
(37:38 – 37:50)
Maude is in the chat giving everybody all the links. Good job, buddy. So, here’s another old one.
(37:50 – 38:01)
This one is from a French hymn from the 18th century. That means the 1700s. Or, I’m sorry, 1862.
(38:02 – 38:26)
Wikipedia, you have failed me. The tune of the hymn is Gloria of a traditional French song Les Antaines nos Campagnes and it’s about the birth of Christ. Which can be… If you’re not into Jesus that’s okay, but you have to admit their church music is fire.
(38:29 – 39:05)
It’s an 1862 paraphrase by James Chadwick, the Roman Catholic bishop of Hexham and Newcastle in the northeast of England loosely translated from the French emphasis on loosely translated. And it’s also not an easy song to sing. Angels we have heard on high sweetly singing o’er the plains and the mountains in reply echoing their joyous strains.
(39:06 – 40:02)
Gloria in excelsis Deo Gloria Gloria in excelsis Deo And technically you’re supposed to repeat that a whole bunch. And done properly with a choral group so you get all the high notes and the good low notes going, it will knock your socks off. But it is not easy to sing and it also dips down quite low at the end there.
So if you don’t start at the right spot, you’re gonna fuck it up. But that one is one of my favorites. Angels we have heard on high I’m not even gonna attempt it in French.
(40:04 – 40:24)
Like, no. Very similar is Angels from the Realms of Glory. This one is from 1816 and 1819 when the music was added.
(40:27 – 40:46)
Actually, I don’t know if it’s very, very similar if I just sing it to the same tune as Angels we have heard on high. Because it scans the same. I can play the audio.
(40:51 – 41:05)
Oh, that’s terrible music. Jesus. Kylie says I got in big trouble in the 5th grade Christmas pageant for doing a mashup with the Banana Boat song.
(41:12 – 41:42)
That’s hilarious. Angels from the realms of glory wing your flight o’er all the earth. Ye who sang creation’s story now proclaim Messiah’s birth.
And I’m not sure that that’s the real tune. That’s what’s in my head. It’s another one that’s very, very long and good luck.
(41:50 – 42:01)
Oh well that would be why. Wikipedia says by 1916 the hymn had been set to more than 50 different tunes. No wonder I don’t know what the fuck this song is.
(42:07 – 42:25)
Kylie said In excelsis Deo, a day is a day is a day-o. Daylight come and I won’t go home. That’s not right.
(42:26 – 42:37)
And yet, it’s also very right. Oh, I better hurry up. I got a whole bunch more songs to play for you guys.
(42:37 – 42:59)
Here, did I play you Bianca’s Dirty Jingle Bells? Choke on my, lick on my, suck on my cock. Reach for my, grab for my, pull out my cock. You can do it with ease, just get on your knees.
(43:00 – 43:08)
Start licking and slurping, my dick will get firm. Soon you’ll be tasting sperm. Faster now, deeper now, into your throat.
(43:08 – 43:15)
The secret is not to choke. Take my shaft by its face. Stuff the whole thing in your face.
(43:15 – 43:38)
That’s how you suck on my cock. You make my dick swell as I’m moaning, yeah. Keep the warning when I scream, your throat will sore.
Soon you’ll be open more to grasp your last breath before I shoot my screen. Flip it up and lick it up. Don’t ever stop, swallow every last drop.
(43:39 – 44:11)
Now that you eat my meat, I’ll never have to beat my meat. Thanks for stroking my, thanks for licking my, thanks for sucking my cock. I almost forgot to unmute myself.
I was laughing so hard. Fucking glorious. That was from MissBianca, the Hurt Dirty Jingle Bells parody.
(44:11 – 44:31)
Fucking perfect. Perfection. That was from MissBiancaEE on Twitter or EnchantrixBianca on BlueSky and her blog is KinkyPhoneFantasy.com KinkyPhoneFantasy.com It’s freaking awesome.
(44:36 – 45:02)
The first time I listened to her sing that high about fell down. I have to give mad props to anybody who can rhyme beat my meat with beat my meat. This is so fucking good.
(45:04 – 45:15)
Oh my god. Lord. Y’all.
(45:16 – 45:39)
It’s killing me over here. So, let’s Good King Wenceslaus. You’ve probably heard it, right? It has been translated quite a bit.
(45:40 – 45:57)
It’s a Christmas carol. It tells a story about a 10th century king of Bohemia, which is in the Czech Republic nowadays. It’s based on a story about Saint Wenceslaus, the Duke of Bohemia from the year 907.
(45:59 – 46:49)
There was a 13th century spring carol, The Blooming Time is Here, which they got out of a 1582 Finnish song collection. Like, this song has been translated, interpreted, fucked around with, and messed with for a very freaking long time. I’ve got to get Jingle Bells out of my head because it scans to the song of Jingle Bells.
(46:51 – 47:13)
I’m going to sing it as if it’s Jingle Bells because I can’t get it out of my head. This is the problem with doing a whole bunch of different songs all at the same time. I know how the first line goes.
(47:13 – 47:41)
Good King Wenceslaus looked out on the feast of Stephen when the snow lay round about deep and crisp and even brightly shone the moon that night, though the frost was cruel when a poor man came inside gathering winter fuel. And it goes on from there. It gets a little bit weird, though.
(47:42 – 48:13)
Because St. Wencesla or Duke Wenceslaus starts talking to his page. Hither page and stand by me if thou know’st his telling yonder peasant who is he, where and what his dwelling. The sire he lives, a goodly gins, underneath the mountain, right against the forest fence by St. Agnes’ fountain.
(48:17 – 48:39)
Eventually he goes and gives this peasant food and wine and booze. So it fits as a Christmas song because it’s about generosity to the poor, which is great. It’s less of a Christmas song because it doesn’t actually mention Jesus.
(48:41 – 49:02)
Whoops. And in fact, you can find a whole bunch of people who would argue that a Christmas song isn’t a Christmas song if it doesn’t mention Jesus. Which means a whole lot of stuff that people think of nowadays as Christmas songs are just winter holiday songs.
(49:08 – 49:19)
So for example, We Wish You a Merry Christmas is a Christmas song. White Christmas? Vaguely. It doesn’t mention Jesus.
(49:19 – 49:34)
Just whiteness and Christmas. Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree talks about some of the stuff around Christmas, but it doesn’t mention Jesus. It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year? Also doesn’t mention Jesus.
(49:35 – 49:49)
Jingle Bell? Jingle Bell Rock? Neither mention Christmas. Christmas Baby, Please Come Home? Doesn’t mention Christmas. Happy X-mas War is Over by John Lennon? Also doesn’t mention Jesus.
(49:52 – 50:07)
All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey? Doesn’t mention Jesus. Last Christmas by Wham? Doesn’t mention Jesus. Underneath the Tree? Kelly Clarkson? Nope.
(50:07 – 50:37)
Mistletoe? By Justin Bieber? Nope. Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney? Which, I swear, Wonderful Christmas Time? I love that song! But 1. Not a Christmas song, and 2. Kinda pagan. The lyrics to it? Also, by the way, definitely not in the public domain.
(50:38 – 51:08)
At all. Way too modern for that. The mood is right, the spirit’s up, we’re here tonight, and that’s enough.
And what’s interesting, the chorus pops in very, like, Christmassy with bells and jingling Simply having a wonderful Christmas time But it starts off where they’re clearly summoning a demon. I mean, come on. Clearly.
(51:12 – 51:23)
Mott says, Last Christmas I gave you some wham. Mott says, There’s no Christmas songs with eggnog in the lyrics. Wheel.
(51:24 – 51:34)
Wheel. There should be. So, I have a couple more to get us through.
(51:37 – 52:36)
Who haven’t I played? I have not played Miss Sasha’s. This is Sasha, and you will only get one verse out of me. Get the halls with boughs of holly Fa la la la la La la la la Tis the season to be jolly Fa la la la la La la la la Don we now our gay apparel Fa la la la la la la la la la Troll the ancient yuletide carol Fa la la la la la la la la The fa la la’s, they always get me.
(52:36 – 53:32)
Fa la la la la la la la la la la That was from Miss Sasha and her rendition of Deck the Halls. Follow her on Twitter, Sasha Enchants, or Sasha Enchants on BlueSky. She’s also got a blog, kinkblogger.com kinkblogger.com So, I told y’all that I had nine different songs for you guys tonight from various mistresses.
Ten mistresses got together and made songs for me. And I’m saving the last two because I’m in love with them. So, for those of you who’ve been around for a while, you know and you love this mistress.
(53:32 – 54:14)
She’s freaking awesome and I adore her so much. And she played guitar for us. Strap on between her legs She’s got a girl card to fill your ass up and make you full again See those big balls ding-a-lang-a-dang On her beautiful side Get that ass up and keep your head down This mistress is gonna own you tonight There you have it.
(54:14 – 54:17)
I’m not a singer. I’m not a guitar player. I’m a songwriter.
(54:18 – 54:24)
But hey, the sentiment’s there. So, happy horny holidays, y’all. I’m Mistress Hunter.
(54:24 – 54:43)
You can reach me by calling 800-601-6975 800-601-6975 and you can read my blogs intelligentfantasies.com and comeeatingfantasies.com Hell yes. I was so impressed. She played guitar for that.
(54:43 – 54:46)
That’s so cool. Follow her. She’s on Twitter, too.
(54:46 – 55:04)
Empress Hunter Oh my god. Okay, so I’ve told you about Becky and all her socials and Bianca and Sasha and Krista and Demi and Miss Meshelle Hunter, Aurora, and K. Marie. Oh my gosh.
(55:04 – 55:28)
Okay, so there’s only one song left on my list of songs to play for you guys, and I saved it for last because it’s not a Christmas song. It’s an actual winter holiday song. It is a reworking of Oh Holy Night in order to give honor to what today actually is.
(55:31 – 55:46)
Today’s the solstice. It’s an astrological or astronomical point of the year when the sun is at its apex. It’s furthest south from us.
(55:47 – 56:21)
So we’re in the northern hemisphere, or I’m sorry Miss Addie, for you it is the summer solstice, for us it is the winter solstice. So this is the first day of winter for us, for people in the southern hemisphere it’s the first day of summer for them. The sun is at its most southern point in its orbit today, and that gives the northern hemisphere the longest night and the shortest span of daylight, while the southern hemisphere has their longest day and shortest night.
(56:22 – 56:55)
Solstices, they’re fun! Miss Addie said it’s not a good time around these parts. I wish, I wish it was a good time for everybody, but it is the solstice, and it basically means that it’s all downhill from here. So summer solstice, it means every day from here on out will get shorter, all the way through to the winter solstice, and from the winter solstice, every day gets a little bit longer until we hit the summer solstice.
(56:55 – 57:28)
Isn’t that great? The sun is coming back. And so with no further ado, I’m going to give you guys over to Miss Addie. Happy Yule, everybody! This is Princess Addie over at PhoneSexPrincessBlog.com I want to thank you, Mistress Harper, for giving me this opportunity to sing O Darkest Night to the tune of O Holy Night written by I don’t know.
(57:28 – 59:11)
It wasn’t me. O darkest night the stars are brightly shining It is the night of a dawning new year Here in the dark for sun and warmth we’re pining but we are cheered by our friends and family here I love my LDW family The cold bright stars, a trillion worlds above us as here on earth we gather loved ones near Raise up your eyes and see the cosmos wander O night sublime O night O darkest night O night O night O night all night Well Happy Yule everybody, I hope I didn’t hurt your ears too much. Thank you for listening and have a wonderful holiday season.
(59:11 – 59:26)
I hope you’re safe and healthy and filled with peace and joy and wonder of the season. I love that rendition. Absolutely adore it.
(59:27 – 59:48)
She was hitting really, really high notes, really loudly, too close to the microphone and literally browned out the microphone. That’s why the volume was wonky in there is because she was saying too much heart in there and she literally overpowered the microphone. That’s fucking awesome.
(59:48 – 59:59)
I love it. Like if you’re gonna belt out a song, that’s the song to belt. That’s how you do it.
(59:59 – 1:00:27)
Find Miss Andie on Twitter, Impress Andie and she has a blog, phonesexprincessblog.com. She’s fricking awesome. So Whore School is adult sex education with occasional forays into whatever the fuck I feel like, including music nights. This has been our winter holiday sing along.
(1:00:27 – 1:00:41)
I hope you did sing along or at least feel a little bit more encouraged now to sing, bitches. Come on, sing for me. Sing, my angel of music.
(1:00:41 – 1:00:47)
Give it, give it to me. Come on, I wanna hear it. I wanna hear your voice.
(1:00:47 – 1:00:54)
I wanna hear you sing. Put some joy in it and if you overpower your microphone, I don’t give a fuck. Do it.
(1:00:55 – 1:00:59)
Get in there. Maud says, I got the Christmas spirit now. Hell yeah.
(1:01:00 – 1:01:15)
Oh, yay, Addie got that reference. She says, I actually do like Phantom of the Opera. Okay, Maud is reminding everybody that I have a blog, fetishphonesexblog.com. You can find me on Twitter, Enchantrix Harper.
(1:01:16 – 1:01:22)
No I. Yes, there’s a typo. It’s been there for a while. Just leave it in there.
(1:01:22 – 1:01:36)
It’s fine, this is great. You can also find me, I’m on Blue Sky Harper Enchantrix on Blue Sky Social. You can hit me up via Discord as well, LDW Harper.
(1:01:36 – 1:01:45)
In fact, all of the ladies are on Discord. You just, you put LDW and then our name, no spaces, all put together. It’s great.
(1:01:46 – 1:01:55)
Check out WhoreSchool.net as well. That’s the new blog for the podcast. I’m working really hard on it.
(1:01:55 – 1:02:04)
It’s got cool shit in there. Go look at it. All right, happy solstice, whether that’s the winter solstice or the summer solstice.
(1:02:05 – 1:02:17)
And I hope that you have everything that you want and need in your life, just in general. And when in doubt, sing, just sing a little bit. It makes you feel better.
(1:02:18 – 1:02:28)
It brings a community together and singing is, it’s fucking fun. Go sing. All right, thank you guys for listening.
(1:02:28 – 1:02:43)
This has been Whore School. I am Harper and I will be back with you again next week post Christmas and heading into a brand new fricking year. Yikes.
(1:02:45 – 1:02:49)
Drink water and go sing. Good night.
Find the Whore School Schedule right here, and remember to join the Whore School discord for more memes, connection, and all the resources used by Ms Harper for the show. Whore School is adult sex education with no fear, no guilt, and no shame!
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