Listen to “WS 476 BDSM Play Furniture (and Woodworking)” on Spreaker.
WS 476 BDSM Play Furniture (and Woodworking)
From a fun throwaway joke in the Whore School discord server springs this December 7, 2025 episode! Learn all about BDSM and sex furniture, ranging from the accessible and thrifty sex pillows, swings, and sex slings, to the more pricey steel or wood BDSM play furniture. And find out why making your own via your badass woodworking skills may be the smart choice!
(0:03 – 0:19)
The show is live, head to community kink. The chat room is open, come play with us. I don’t know, I just felt the need to kind of sing that a little bit because of reasons.
(0:22 – 0:32)
This is Whore School. I am Harper, you are the audience. Whore School is adult sex education.
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It airs live on Sunday evenings from 11 to midnight on the east coast. That’s 8 to 9 on the west coast. If you join us live, go to communitykink.com because that’s our chat room.
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It’s built on JavaScript. I think it’s JavaScript. I’m not sure.
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I don’t know. It’s built on the computer thing, machine. So you can come and join us and it’ll work and then we can hang out.
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Hattie, the stressed student, is already in here. So is Mott. Hello, applesauce.
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I don’t know why. We’re going to talk about BDSM play, furniture, and woodworking because there was a joke in one of the Discord servers that I’m in about how I should talk about woodworking one of these days because I talk about pretty much everything else. I may as well talk about woodworking.
(1:41 – 1:59)
Whee! A cold front came through today, which is great because it was getting kind of warm in here. Why? Really? Oh my god. I don’t know if you heard that little meow.
(2:00 – 2:08)
That’s Deathwish. Say hi, Deathwish. You don’t want to say hi? She says, no, I just did.
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I’m not saying it again. She stood beside me and put her feet on my shoulder and meowed directly in my ear. There’s food in your bowl.
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They have food. Her name is Deathwish because when she was a wee wee teensy tiny little bitty kitten, she climbed to the very top of the cat tree, and I got an 86-inch tall cat tree. She was perched on the very top of the cat tree, staring at my ceiling fan, doing the cat math thing where they look and they move their head and they look around like she was going to attempt a deathwish.
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She has a deathwish. Tina has joined us in the chat room as well. Hi, Ristomo.
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Hey, Sugar. Do do do do do do. Honey, honey.
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Oh, Patty says that they have their last two tests back to back days on Thursday. You’ll be fine. You’ll be good.
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You got this. So BDSM play furniture. It’s more than what you probably think it is, especially if you have not ever gone to a kink event, or hung out with kinky people, or done stuff in real life.
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Seriously? Now she’s in the kitchen eating her food, I can hear her. Did she just come over here to meow in my ear and get me to tell her that there’s food? You couldn’t have checked? Anyone has cats? Everybody needs a cat. And a shih tzu.
(4:05 – 4:17)
So BDSM Play Furniture, it runs the gamut. Because humans are, as I’ve said before, horny. Very horny.
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Patty says, is furniture in this context more broadly defined? Yes. Antunas says, yay, we hear them mewing. It’s because BDSM Play Furniture, when I say it runs the gamut, what I mean is, it ranges from, you can get foam, very firm foam pillows, like ramps and triangles and things like that, that you can use in a bed.
(4:51 – 5:20)
Ostensibly, yes, as a pillow for, like if you need to sleep inclined, you know? You get this, the triangle pillow, and you put it at the head of your bed, and now you can sleep sitting up, like if you’ve got really bad heartburn, you do that, right? Or, you can lay over it and then get fucked from behind more easily because it holds you up. They’re very firm pillows. Hey, Miss Addie has joined us in here as well.
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Patty, quit skipping ahead. Patty said, where’s the line between furniture and toy? Welcome to BDSM Play Furniture. I’m calling it Play Furniture.
(5:37 – 5:50)
There is no line. The line exists in your head. It’s furniture that is for play, and therefore furniture is a toy, even if it’s just like a chair.
(5:51 – 6:51)
Okay, so it ranges from basically accessories that are, when you go online and you search for sex furniture, that’s the kind of stuff you’re going to find. Sex furniture is more likely to bring up positioning aids, like the foam wedge pillows, or sex slings, sex swings as well, so that was a sling with an L, which you would generally mount above a bed, and it can help with, so if you’ve ever seen the kinds of stuff over a bed in, say, a hospital room, you know, the triangle thing that dangles over the bed so you can reach up and grab it and use it to leverage things like that for sex. There’s also slex.
(6:52 – 7:13)
They hang down a little bit lower, and they’re more soft and comfy, and you can put legs into it, and it helps you, you don’t have to hold your legs up. You have a tool for that. And there’s also sex swings, which you would generally mount to a hard point, wherever it is that you intend to be fucking, and then you sit in it.
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Most sex swings, yes, you can swing in that. They have a seat that’s specially designed to make it easier to reach genitals and assholes, and they also often have places to stick your feet, and maybe even places to put your hands. Patty says, anything can be for sex if you’re creative enough.
(7:45 – 7:58)
Hell yes, but these are things that are specifically made for and marketed towards horny motherfuckers. Sex furniture. There’s a lot.
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If you type in BDSM play furniture, you get so much. It’s pretty awesome. So if you go to sites like The Stockroom, for example, they break down their BDSM sex dungeon furniture into categories.
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Swings and slings are in there, sex furniture’s in there, sex machines, full beds, bedding, and the BDSM furniture. There’s a lot. There’s many.
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If there’s something that you’re interested in exploring, there’s furniture that exists to make it easier. That is a pretty funny image. Patty says, I’m imagining someone with their cock out sitting on the swing and swinging into their partner to penetrate.
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Even though I know that’s probably not the intended use. You could do that. Usually the person who’s being penetrated is the one in the swing while the person doing the penetrating is standing for leverage.
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It’s for the leverage. Okay, so swings and slings. I am very much not kidding at all when I say there’s a lot and they’re fun.
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There’s a thing called a thigh sling. It basically goes behind your neck and it has cuffs that go around your thighs. And it’s so that you can’t put your legs down or it helps hold your legs up for sex.
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Often it is padded in various interesting ways. There are swings and slings that come in a variety of materials, pleather, leather, cotton, elastic fabric. They often have ankle or thigh cuffs or wrist cuffs and a bunch of them have both.
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If you go to the stockroom, you can see they have a door jam sex sling. It does exactly what you think it does. Extreme Restraints is another site that’s really, really fun.
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They have tons of toys. And if you type in sex and bondage furniture, you’ll find them including their collection of sex swings and slings. They have cuffs.
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They have swings made out of various materials. They have things that are made to go in door jams. So you close the door on it.
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So you trap it between the door and the top of your door jam. And it’s because, oh, hey, Kylie joined us. Hi, Kylie.
(11:43 – 11:57)
It’s because once your door is shut, like your door jams are generally more structurally sound than the rest of your wall is. That’s why in areas that have earthquakes, you stand in a doorway. And it’s because it’s more built.
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It’s got more structural stuff going on in there. And so you can take stuff and shut it in the door over the top. And so it has a knob on one side and that goes on one side of the door.
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And then you shut the door and it’s like it’s over the door. If it is a standard indoor hollow core door, don’t use the door itself for leverage. If you’re strong enough, you can break it.
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The door that is not the door jam. You’ll break the door. Patty will be taking a break from studying.
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You’re welcome. Because it’s sparking their very active imagination. Thinking about wrist and ankle cuffs.
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I haven’t even gotten into the really interesting BDSM play furniture. This is the tame stuff. I am not kidding.
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This is fairly vanilla. Extreme restraints has a 360 degree spinning sex swing. That’s one that you would mount to the ceiling.
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Which means, Patty said, ooh, yeah, it’s pretty cool. It’s fun. You can spin in circles.
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If you want to mount something to your ceiling, you need to know exactly where all the joists are up there. Because if you just try to stick it up the way that you would, say, a plant hanger, that’s not good enough. You weigh considerably more than your hanging plant does.
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You have to actually mount this to the joist in the ceiling. Not just the space in between the joists. So it’s going to require a little bit stronger.
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It’s going to require more carpentry skills. Which is why the other part of this is woodworking. Patty says you need reinforced ceilings.
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Technically your ceiling is reinforced. There are joists in the ceiling that are in between the ceiling and the floor above. Or if there’s no floor up there, there’s insulation.
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There’s wood in your ceiling. You have to mount to that. Which means hire a carpenter.
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You can absolutely hire a carpenter to put in a hard point. And all you have to do is say, yeah, I’ve got this really cool papasan chair that I want to mount from the ceiling in my bedroom. You know, for reading before bed.
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And the carpenter will go, uh-huh, reading. And then they’ll put in a hard point because you’re giving them money. And honestly, everybody knows what they’re doing.
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They’re like, yeah, I know what you’re doing. But they don’t give a shit. And if they do care, that gives them plausible deniability.
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Like now they can just say, what, maybe it was a papasan chair. Nah, it was a sex swing. Although I have known people to put those in their living room.
(15:18 – 15:44)
And so when it’s time for the party, you take the papasan chair down and you replace it with a sex swing. Ta-da! Problem solved. I also knew someone who instead of just installing a hard point, got into the attic and installed a winch.
(15:45 – 16:00)
They hid the winch attachment in their living room by putting it into a recessed pot light. So most of the time, it was a light. There’s a light switch and it would turn on and off.
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And there’s a light. Or they just pull the light fixture out of the ceiling and use the remote thingy, the knee, and it would drop a winch down. Extremely secure.
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That thing could lift like an engine block. It was a really powerful winch. But it gave you a very good hard point for doing rope suspensions.
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Which is not exactly about BDSM furniture, but it was an awful lot of fun. It’s using rope to make a sex swing. Rope bondage.
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The good stuff. Special note on extreme restraints. We have the Stand and Deliver Sex Position Body Sling.
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Which goes on usually the stronger partner. And allows the smaller, slighter partner to climb them like a tree. And give them handles to provide leverage for fucking.
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Yup. Seriously, go visit these websites. They’re pretty great.
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There’s some really cool shit in here. I love it. What I especially like about extreme restraints, they have… A bunch of these are pictures of girls.
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Females in various compromising positions. But the Spread Me Open Thigh Harness with Hollow Anal Plug. It’s a package deal.
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Has a picture of a dude. With the plug installed. It’s great.
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If you really, really want to try a sex swing. And you do not want to try installing a hardpoint. You can buy a stand.
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Extreme restraints has them. Stockroom has them. Most BDSM sites will have them.
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It’s got four legs. It’s made out of steel. It’s good stuff.
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You’re welcome. It’s like powder-coated steel. Four legs.
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Stands up there. And you would put it together in your living room. And then use it.
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Instead of having to put in a hardpoint. Patty’s like, I’m sorry, the what? You’re welcome. Patty wants to know if we trust the floors.
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God, I hope so. I’m on the ground floor. Sure.
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I’m on the ground floor. Mostly. Mostly.
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I trust the floor. So there’s various types of stands. You can get.
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Extreme restraints has the trinity sex swing stand. Currently on sale. For $300 off.
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Which should tell you how much they cost. BDSM play furniture is not cheap. Worth it, though.
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But not cheap. Patty’s going to run away and leave us. All right.
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Bye, Patty. Go study hard. Fantasize about ankle cuffs.
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We could chain you to the desk. You’ll be fine. Okay.
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So sex swings and slings. Very fun. Everybody likes some swings and slings.
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Right? Sex furniture. Can include things like. Sex ramps.
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Stockades. Protective. Bedding.
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To go on your bed. So that if you are messy. You don’t make a mess.
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So there’s plushy. Waterproof blankets. That are kind of cool.
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Slings. Swings. Um.
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Fleshlight. Top dog. It is literally a cushion.
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With a pre-made hole. Into which you would insert your fleshlight. And it holds it for you.
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So that you can pretend as if you were. Fucking someone from behind. And it.
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It holds them at the right angle. For you. So you don’t have to.
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Pull a JD. And stuff it into. The couch cushions.
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You can just. Put it into your specially made sex furniture. And do that.
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There’s some very fancy things. That could go easily into your living room. And just be there all the time.
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Um. So there are various chaise lounges. That are for fucking.
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They’re also for. Sitting on and laying on and reading. Because they’re fun.
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But that’s for fucking. And then. We can get a little bit more advanced.
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There are. Sex wedges. And.
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Toy mounts. Are. Things that one.
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Can acquire. So a sex wedge or a toy mount. It’s basically a very very firm.
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Pillow. Like if you took your bed pillow. You fold it in half.
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And you set it on the bed. And then if you were to sit on top of that. And hump it.
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Now imagine if you could mount a dildo. To the middle of that. You can do that.
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With some of this furniture. Because it comes with. Crevices that are specially made.
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To hold the dildo for you. Like you pop the bottom of the dildo. Into place in this pillow.
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Wedge. And it holds it for you. So that you don’t.
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It’s not going anywhere. You don’t have to improvise anything. You don’t have to hold it with your hand.
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And be like oh yeah this is great. No you stick it into the furniture. And then you sit on it.
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Easy. There’s also. Sex toys.
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Like. Oh my god the word just. Flew out of my head.
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There’s a very famous one. That’s a specific brand name. I’m thinking of.
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Okay that’s great. The one you sit on. See now Google’s like.
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Oh yeah pillows. We got those. Ow.
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The fuck is it called. Oh my god. This is going to drive me insane.
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You ever have like a word. And you know the word. And then you can’t think of it.
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It’s very annoying. So Liberator. By the way is also a very famous brand.
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For. Sex toys and sex furniture. So shop around.
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You can buy directly from Liberator.com. Or. Stockroom and Extreme Restraints. Both carry them.
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What is it? It’s got a vibrator. Vibrator pillow. Come on.
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I mean. Technically yes. Sex pillows.
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Sure. I’m looking at all of these. Hmm.
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Wanda Magic Wand Toy Mount. That looks cool. You know what.
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I will remember it. Eventually. Kylie’s like story of my life.
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I know right. I know too much about sex things. And I’m like wait.
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What’s the name of the thing? It’s a brand name. He’s like a chair. Those also exist.
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There. Okay. So.
(25:18 – 25:24)
I’m just going to pretend like. I told you the thing. It’s.
(25:25 – 25:31)
Made all in one. It has an extremely powerful motor. Inside the pillow.
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That drives the. Often interchangeable dildos. That you can attach to it.
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It’s an awesome. Sex toy. Like it is amazing.
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And it is called. The fuck is it called? Oh my god. This is going to drive me insane.
(25:54 – 26:00)
Okay. I’m going to move along. Because obviously I’m not going to remember it.
(26:02 – 26:11)
Maybe Stockholm has it. Hmm. Vibrators.
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Designer. No. Damn it.
(26:20 – 26:24)
It’s not under vibrators. Or dildos. I think they would have it.
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Oh. Speak to me about vibrators. No.
(26:32 – 26:43)
Anyways. Sex furniture. What’s this a picture of? Yeah.
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Like that. What this is. Liberator teamed up with a sex toy company.
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To make it. It holds a toy. It holds specifically the bendable vibe.
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Like. And that’s basically the thing that I’m thinking of. So yes.
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That’s the thing. Except it’s not two separate pieces. And.
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The thing I’m thinking of. The motor is inside the pillow. Not the toy.
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If that makes sense. Which makes it much more powerful. Because you can plug that motherfucker into the wall.
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Great. I will remember this at like 3 o’clock in the morning. And wake up going.
(27:31 – 27:40)
Ah. With the name of it. So it’ll come to me.
(27:45 – 27:51)
So BDSM sex furniture. Or BDSM furniture. Isn’t necessarily always just about sex.
(27:51 – 28:00)
It’s not always about fucking. It’s frequently about fucking. But it is.
(28:00 – 28:06)
Also. Frequently about impact play. And one of the most common.
(28:06 – 28:10)
Things. If you go to a dungeon or a sex party. That’s especially well equipped.
(28:11 – 28:19)
You will see a Saint Andrew’s cross. He says my brain doesn’t work when I’m unconscious. Mine does.
(28:19 – 28:26)
It’s terrible. I get good dreams though. So a Saint Andrew’s cross.
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It’s named after Saint Andrew. Who was crucified. On a cross.
(28:32 – 28:36)
Which technically. It does feature two pieces of wood. That cross one another.
(28:36 – 28:50)
But instead of it being a lowercase T. Like the cross you’re thinking of. It’s an X. It’s the letter X. And your arms go on the top arms. And your legs go on the bottom arms.
(28:51 – 28:56)
It’s called a Saint Andrew’s cross. Specifically. It is an X cross.
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That’s the one that’s used. Most often. In BDSM play.
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It can be made. Out of. All sorts of materials.
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Wood. Steel. It can be mounted flat on a wall.
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It can be made. So that it kind of leans. A slight angle.
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Is fairly nice. Because then you can lean on it. And feel held up.
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Sometimes they come. Wood with leather padding. On it.
(29:31 – 29:37)
It’s very nice. Sometimes it’s wood. With a vinyl or pleather.
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Over some padding. Which is really nice. Easy to clean.
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If you do wood. Make sure that it is. Sealed wood.
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Because if you don’t seal the wood. With marine finish. Or at least.
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Put some varnish on there. The wood pores are still open. And if anybody.
(29:59 – 30:06)
Gets bodily fluids on it. Being euphemistic. I don’t know why I’m being euphemistic.
(30:06 – 30:10)
If they come on the cross. It soaks into the wood. And that’s gross.
(30:11 – 30:17)
So sealed wood is better. Or metal. Metal if you’re going for a really.
(30:18 – 30:23)
Harsh dungeon look. I like wood. I’ve seen versions.
(30:24 – 30:29)
Where people made their own. St. Andrew’s cross. That could be folded in half.
(30:30 – 30:36)
And collapsed down. And stored in a closet. With not in use.
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The main problem. With the St. Andrew’s crosses. They’re tall.
(30:41 – 30:46)
They’re usually 7 feet tall. They’re big. And it’s because.
(30:47 – 30:56)
You can strap a full grown adult. Man to this thing. And have him held securely.
(30:56 – 31:01)
So he’s not going anywhere. And all of his fun bits. Right there for you to play with.
(31:02 – 31:05)
Leg spread. Arm spread. Up above his head.
(31:05 – 31:09)
And then. Ta-da. They frequently come with.
(31:10 – 31:19)
If it’s wood. And you make it yourself. Do like a. Like a 2×8.
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Or a 2×6. Is a good size. 2×4 is a little narrow.
(31:25 – 31:29)
You want it broad. Both for strength. And for comfort.
(31:32 – 31:36)
And then install. O-rings. Basically.
(31:37 – 31:42)
You put in. They have a screw on one side. And an O on the other.
(31:43 – 31:51)
Put those in there. Instant hard points. Addie left again.
(31:56 – 32:00)
Come on the cross. It soaks in the wood. Sounds like a Marilyn Manson lyric.
(32:00 – 32:12)
A lot of BDSM stuff sounds like Manson lyrics. BDSM. We love to tie people up.
(32:12 – 32:18)
And restrain them to stuff. You may find. Bondage padded restraint walls.
(32:19 – 32:24)
Or bondage padded. Restraining walls. There’s.
(32:26 – 32:30)
Many. Fun things. That you can do.
(32:30 – 32:35)
There’s also. Entire sets of things like. Dungeon irons.
(32:36 – 32:48)
If you really. Want to. Think of them.
(32:50 – 32:53)
As. Metal fun and games. For.
(32:54 – 33:00)
Restraining people and not letting them get away. While you make them. Edge a lot.
(33:00 – 33:07)
And or. Do whatever it is that it is that you’re doing. As part of your BDSM fun.
(33:07 – 33:14)
And games. Seriously. There’s a lot.
(33:14 – 33:18)
There are so many. Sorry. That one’s funny.
(33:19 – 33:26)
The pillory CBT tower. That poor guy. He looks like he’s having fun.
(33:30 – 33:35)
There are many. Many different ways that you could do. All sorts of terrible and wonderful things.
(33:35 – 33:40)
To people. Because human beings are extremely. Dirty.
(33:40 – 33:46)
A rubber room. You could easily do that. If you’ve got a basement or a garage.
(33:46 – 33:52)
That you can soundproof. It’s important. If you’re going to be doing things that you know.
(33:52 – 33:59)
Are about to make your neighbors. Very concerned about. Why is somebody screaming? Soundproofing is your friend.
(34:01 – 34:09)
Or ball gags. Those are also your friend. In addition to a St. Andrew’s cross.
(34:09 – 34:23)
You’ll also probably see a spanking bench. They’re not just for spanking people. This is starting to sound like.
(34:23 – 34:30)
A show for serial killers. No. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
(34:30 – 34:37)
A little bit. The difference between what we do. And what.
(34:38 – 34:44)
Serial unalivers do. Is what we’re doing. We have absolute consent to do.
(34:44 – 34:51)
Ahead of time. The fine line. Between going to jail.
(34:51 – 34:57)
And having a great time. Is consent. And the people that we’re putting into.
(34:57 – 35:03)
These wonderful devices. They consented. It’s fine.
(35:08 – 35:14)
Some companies. And makers of fun sex toys. Charge more.
(35:16 – 35:20)
Or less. Than others. There’s a lot.
(35:21 – 35:25)
Of them. Here is a soft leather. It’s covered in leather.
(35:26 – 35:31)
St. Andrew’s cross. That you would mount on a wall. For only $414.
(35:32 – 35:36)
That’s not too bad. An adjustable BDSM bondage chair. For $800.
(35:39 – 35:45)
If we come back over here. To the stock room. The metal St. Andrew’s cross.
(35:45 – 35:52)
Is $3025. This is why woodworking. Is part of.
(35:53 – 36:00)
The conversation. Because. We are crafty motherfuckers.
(36:00 – 36:05)
And you can build. These things. Often for less than you can buy them.
(36:06 – 36:12)
Already made. A modern kneeling spanking bench. For $3275.
(36:15 – 36:20)
Over on extreme restraints. Obedience extreme sex bench. With restraint straps.
(36:20 – 36:27)
Currently on sale for $499. The forced orgasm tower. Which is metal.
(36:28 – 36:34)
You would stand on the plate. That helps keep it in place. It’s got restraint points on it.
(36:35 – 36:41)
You can strap a Hitachi magic wand. Into it. Aimed exactly where you think it is.
(36:42 – 36:52)
For $665. Or you can go to Etsy. Etsy.com. Does sell.
(36:53 – 36:57)
Bondage furniture. Some of this. May be.
(36:59 – 37:05)
Less than ethically produced. Multi position. BDSM chair.
(37:06 – 37:12)
It looks like something. You would put in your very. Extremely dirty.
(37:14 – 37:20)
Sexy doctor’s office. For $214. That’s not too bad.
(37:21 – 37:26)
Mature portable bench. Spanking bench in red. For $287.
(37:26 – 37:31)
A full wood. Secret BDSM table. Pattern.
(37:31 – 37:36)
Just the design for it. You can make this. You built this yourself.
(37:36 – 37:47)
$15. The prices are pretty interesting. Right? Here is a nightstand.
(37:47 – 37:54)
That converts into a bondage chair. The pattern for it. If you’re into woodworking.
(37:54 – 38:01)
You can make this shit. The pattern is $5 on Etsy. BDSM modular bed plan.
(38:02 – 38:08)
Full stockade. Frame. It looks like a canopy bed.
(38:08 – 38:17)
It has hard points all the way around it. It is lofted a little bit. With bars underneath.
(38:19 – 38:21)
This is the plan. To build it. $12.
(38:22 – 38:28)
Or you can buy. A BDSM kink fetish bed cage. For $1,000.
(38:31 – 38:34)
Runs the gamut. In red. It is generally speaking.
(38:34 – 38:47)
Cheaper to make your own. Right? I have seen shows. On TV.
(38:48 – 38:54)
Where things went south. It is not an easy task to convince the authorities of consent. When the other party is no longer.
(38:54 – 39:03)
Because the other party definitely didn’t consent. To that part. Mail 19 submissive.
(39:03 – 39:08)
Has joined us in here. I wish we could see. What you are looking at.
(39:09 – 39:14)
You are going to make me. Screw up my copy paste. Here you go.
(39:14 – 39:23)
I am looking at that page. That is the Etsy page. I will drop these.
(39:23 – 39:27)
Into the discord server. As well. Here is stockroom.
(39:32 – 39:35)
Fair warning. Some of the images. On these pages.
(39:36 – 39:42)
Are not PG 13. You might see. Some dick.
(39:43 – 39:46)
And penis. And vagina. And balls.
(39:47 – 39:54)
In various states of. Bondage. And penetration.
(39:56 – 40:02)
Some pretty cool stuff. So. Etsy is an awful lot of fun.
(40:02 – 40:14)
You can get a queening chair. For $417. Why? I am sorry.
(40:14 – 40:20)
I am confused as shit. Suspension rack for 1-6 scale. BDSM dolls.
(40:23 – 40:28)
Huh. It looks well made. I guess.
(40:28 – 40:34)
If you wanted to make your. Barbie act out. BDSM.
(40:35 – 40:38)
Oh. That is clever. Folding St. Andrew’s cross.
(40:38 – 40:45)
Slash table. Clever. Because that you could have out all the time.
(40:45 – 40:52)
No one would ever know that it was there. Until you unfolded it. Love that.
(40:55 – 40:58)
Oh there it is. A tantric sofa. Love those.
(41:00 – 41:13)
There is a lot. M19 says crazy. I am way too poor for any of that.
(41:13 – 41:21)
That is why woodworking is the other half. Of tonight’s episode. It is not just.
(41:21 – 41:26)
About buying. Really expensive play furniture. Woodworking.
(41:26 – 41:31)
You go on Etsy. If you type in BDSM furniture. Plus.
(41:32 – 41:38)
Design. You get just the patterns to make it. It comes with the design patterns.
(41:38 – 41:43)
Instructions for what you need to buy. What woodcuts you need. How to put it together.
(41:44 – 41:51)
You can make your own. We are crafty. To one degree or another.
(41:52 – 41:58)
We are also prone to. Wild improvisation. Some of the things.
(41:58 – 42:03)
That you find. For BDSM play. Are extremely expensive.
(42:03 – 42:10)
Especially the dungeon furniture. What you do. You go get involved.
(42:10 – 42:15)
With your local kink community. Because an awful lot of people. Are in their 50s and 60s and 70s.
(42:15 – 42:21)
So they’ve got money. And they bought the fancy shit. They saved up.
(42:21 – 42:26)
And got it. And then they’ll host parties. And let you use it.
(42:27 – 42:33)
So if you’re poor. And broke and young. That’s how you get access to.
(42:33 – 42:40)
A bunch of stuff. And honestly I really recommend it. Because then you can test it.
(42:40 – 42:45)
Before you try to. Buy it or build it. There are also.
(42:45 – 42:50)
Especially in the bigger cities. And he says. Just in people.
(42:50 – 42:57)
Miss Harper told us to prey on old rich people. They get something. You get something.
(42:58 – 43:07)
This is capitalism. Technically I’m advocating. That everyone should just go be hoes.
(43:07 – 43:14)
So. Welcome to Whore School. There are dungeons.
(43:15 – 43:21)
In various cities. And you can go. And you can either book to use a room.
(43:21 – 43:28)
So you plus your partner. Can rent a dungeon room. Or you can go and say.
(43:28 – 43:34)
Hey I would like to hire one of your. Dominatrixes. Or a dom.
(43:34 – 43:41)
A male dom. To fold me into a pretzel. Strap me to a St. Andrew’s cross.
(43:42 – 43:49)
And introduce me to exactly what. Coerced orgasms feel like. Mod said.
(43:50 – 43:55)
They’re all just massage tables. No. They’re a lot more sturdy than massage tables are.
(43:55 – 44:01)
Because they have to take the weight of one or two. Full grown human beings. Without collapsing.
(44:01 – 44:10)
Under aggressive use. Like vigorous use. And a massage table.
(44:11 – 44:16)
If you jiggle it just right. Sometimes those things fall down. Ask me how I know.
(44:16 – 44:21)
So as a stand in. Temporary measure. A massage table works.
(44:22 – 44:28)
But eventually. You want the. Actual BDSM furniture.
(44:28 – 44:33)
It’s got more cross bracing. And it’s built more ruggedly. So it can take.
(44:35 – 44:43)
Enthusiasm. It can take the enthusiasm. You haven’t lived till you’ve had.
(44:44 – 44:52)
A massage table collapse. I have. And he’s like.
(44:53 – 44:55)
Miss Harper. The poor massage table. I know.
(44:55 – 45:04)
I was very upset. It’s not made to torque. There’s some motions you shouldn’t do.
(45:04 – 45:10)
On a massage table. That you can do with sex furniture. Because often times.
(45:10 – 45:17)
It’s been tested. It’s designed for it. The people who designed it.
(45:17 – 45:22)
They take feedback too. So if you test to destruction. You can always contact them.
(45:22 – 45:27)
And be like. Hey so I have notes. Next time you make this.
(45:28 – 45:36)
The padding needs to be thicker. Or it needs more cross bracing. Managed to fuck on it.
(45:37 – 45:42)
So aggressively and enthusiastically. That we twisted it. That’s not supposed to happen.
(45:42 – 45:54)
That’s weird right? Bot said ouch. It was very exciting. I wasn’t the one strapped to it.
(45:54 – 45:59)
So it’s fine. But as a dominant person. Who’s the top.
(46:00 – 46:05)
You’re responsible for the person. So it’s definitely very scary. When all of a sudden you’re like.
(46:06 – 46:10)
The table collapsed. With somebody tied to it. That you tied there.
(46:13 – 46:18)
It’s a little nerve wracking. It’s fine. It’s fine.
(46:19 – 46:25)
Okay so more. Bedias and furniture. Oh right.
(46:27 – 46:32)
Bondage chairs. Or cuck chairs. Always fun.
(46:33 – 46:38)
So stock room. Has one made out of metal. I’ve seen them made out of wood.
(46:38 – 46:44)
Basically it’s a chair. It’s a chair. With hard points.
(46:45 – 46:49)
That’s it. It may have hard points. O-rings down at the.
(46:50 – 46:55)
Where your feet go. It may have. A cross bar along the back.
(46:55 – 47:01)
For putting your arms at shoulder height. So that you can be like. T-pose.
(47:01 – 47:05)
Strapped in. You’re not going anywhere. And you can’t cover yourself up.
(47:08 – 47:13)
And he said. After a while you start to notice. A pattern on Ms. Harper’s horror stories.
(47:13 – 47:19)
She’s never the victim. Of whatever misfortune happened. I learn from other people’s mistakes.
(47:23 – 47:36)
That doesn’t happen to me. It happens around me. And also.
(47:36 – 47:40)
Like seriously. Don’t strap people. To a massage table.
(47:41 – 47:46)
It’s a bad idea. Those things collapse way too often. I was young.
(47:46 – 47:51)
And dumb. Full of hubris. And so now.
(47:52 – 47:56)
I get to be the person who goes to people. And goes hey. Don’t strap people to the massage table.
(47:57 – 48:02)
That thing will collapse. It’s nowhere near strong enough. For what you’re trying to do to it.
(48:04 – 48:10)
You’ll notice that an awful lot. Of the dungeon furniture. Is dirty as shit.
(48:11 – 48:15)
Like it doesn’t. Look like the kind of stuff you want to stick. In your living room.
(48:15 – 48:22)
Unless you’re into a very specific. Aesthetic. Lots and lots of metal.
(48:22 – 48:28)
And very very chunky wood. Because. It’s all very very sturdy.
(48:28 – 48:34)
Furniture. It’s all pieces that are made not to collapse. Sometimes under.
(48:34 – 48:42)
The weight of. I mean depending on how many people you’ve got on there. Three to four hundred pounds.
(48:42 – 48:48)
Of writhing. And gyrating person. It has to be sturdy.
(48:52 – 48:58)
So. Have you guys learned about. BDSM play furniture yet? I told you I was going to give you.
(48:58 – 49:05)
Resources for where to go to find. Because there’s more. BDSM Woody.
(49:05 – 49:11)
Sells wood. BDSM furniture. There’s also.
(49:11 – 49:15)
Bound by desire. BDSM furniture sells. All sorts of stuff.
(49:15 – 49:22)
But also BDSM furniture. Including restraint systems. So like an under bed restraint system.
(49:22 – 49:28)
Is pretty common. It’s basically. A set of straps that go under the mattress.
(49:29 – 49:32)
And then. They poke out at the four corners. So you can do.
(49:33 – 49:40)
Hands and ankles. Restrained at the four corners of your mattress. It’s pretty self explanatory.
(49:40 – 49:44)
It’s a bed restraint system. Really really simple. Really easy to make.
(49:44 – 49:49)
I’ve seen people make them out of rope. Tons of fun. Sex swings.
(49:49 – 49:55)
Definitely give a sex swing a try. Try a fuck machine sometime. If you have the opportunity.
(49:55 – 50:03)
Tons of fun. You don’t necessarily need. Bondage furniture.
(50:05 – 50:10)
But god damn it’s fun. It’s great. Oh also.
(50:11 – 50:16)
You might run into. A really well equipped. Dungeon.
(50:16 – 50:24)
Might have a vacuum bed. It’s a little bit niche. Not everybody has a vacuum bed.
(50:25 – 50:33)
But they’re really really fun. Like. It’s exactly what you think it is.
(50:34 – 50:38)
Very thick latex. Or vinyl. And.
(50:39 – 50:46)
A motor that sucks all the air out of it. When you put somebody into it. You always give them a tube in their mouth.
(50:46 – 50:53)
That leads to the outside. So they can still breathe. And you don’t leave them in for too long.
(50:54 – 50:59)
And you can. Vacuum. Seal them into.
(51:02 – 51:06)
Place. And they can’t go anywhere. And you can touch them.
(51:06 – 51:09)
And tickle them. And rub all over them. It’s a lot of fun.
(51:10 – 51:13)
Yeah. Kylie says. That’s not fun for people like me.
(51:13 – 51:17)
Who are claustrophobic. Yeah. If you have a problem with small tight spaces.
(51:19 – 51:26)
Don’t play with that one. Panic attacks while in there. Please don’t make people have to cut open the vacuum bed.
(51:26 – 51:32)
To get you out. Those are expensive. And he said.
(51:32 – 51:39)
I’m into the whole pastel girly aesthetic. So now I want to make BDSM furniture. That’s still sturdy but doesn’t have the rugged look.
(51:40 – 51:45)
It’s possible. You would have to make it out of metal though. And probably paint it.
(51:47 – 51:52)
Powder coated. And it’s possible to do that. You could use like the square.
(51:54 – 51:58)
Steel tubing. As for most of your framing. And then you know.
(51:58 – 52:06)
Cute pink padding and stuff. And basically. Tons and tons of math.
(52:06 – 52:11)
And working with somebody who knows how to weld. But it’s possible. You could.
(52:12 – 52:19)
It’s just most of the time the guys who are making the stuff. And it’s usually a dude. Because it’s welding and it’s still incredibly gendered.
(52:19 – 52:25)
Boo. They’re going for the whole. Psychological.
(52:25 – 52:31)
It’s scary. I think strapping a dude. To a pastel pink.
(52:31 – 52:36)
St. Andrew’s cross. And clamping his testicles. Into a humbler.
(52:36 – 52:41)
That’s like pink. With lace. Ruffles on it.
(52:42 – 52:53)
I think that’s psychological torture. And also fun. I’ve probably told this story before.
(52:53 – 53:01)
This one did not happen to me. But I was present. The person who installed a winch.
(53:01 – 53:06)
In their house. So that they could have a hard point. Inside their living room.
(53:06 – 53:11)
It was specifically for doing. Suspension. Rope suspension.
(53:14 – 53:21)
Because they could lower. The winch point all the way down to the floor. And so you could tie somebody.
(53:21 – 53:26)
A rope on the floor. Attach them to the winch. And then pick them up.
(53:29 – 53:34)
Fabulous. Because most of the problem with rope suspension. Before his winch.
(53:34 – 53:39)
Innovation. Was that you had to be strong enough to pick. Them up yourself.
(53:39 – 53:45)
In order to get them into the air. And often this involved a pulley. Of some sort.
(53:45 – 53:51)
Or just fucking main force. Where you pull the rope and up they go. Pain in the ass.
(53:52 – 53:58)
So love the winch. Love the winch. So this guy comes in from out of town.
(53:58 – 54:02)
And he’s like. I’m a badass rope dom. And this girl goes.
(54:03 – 54:09)
Tie me up I want to be suspended. And he goes alright. And so he ties her up.
(54:09 – 54:14)
He blindfolds her. Turns the winch on. Up she goes.
(54:14 – 54:21)
And he spins her in a circle. And she starts screaming. Not in a good way.
(54:21 – 54:25)
In a bad way. Bad screaming. And then she safe words.
(54:26 – 54:31)
At the top of her lungs. Red red red red. While spinning in a circle.
(54:31 – 54:37)
And so they. They bring the winch down. Every single dominant person.
(54:38 – 54:45)
At the party goes. What? And looks. Keep a hand on the person that you’re currently with.
(54:45 – 54:53)
And look to be like. What? He cuts the ropes off of her. She lays there for a minute.
(54:53 – 54:57)
And is like. Cause she’s like out of it. Eventually she comes to enough.
(54:57 – 55:03)
And we find out what the fuck went wrong. And it turns out. She did not disclose.
(55:03 – 55:15)
That she has motherfucking vertigo. Hey you know what’s a bad idea? Taking a person with vertigo. Blindfolding them.
(55:15 – 55:24)
Suspending them in the air. And spinning them in a circle. So yeah.
(55:25 – 55:30)
I learned from other people’s mistakes. If I do a suspension scene. I always ask the person.
(55:30 – 55:39)
Do you have vertigo? Do you have anything wrong with your heart? Because I can extrapolate. And be like. Oh that would also suck a whole lot.
(55:40 – 55:58)
Any health issues? Do you have joint issues? Hypermobility? Reduced mobility? Nerve issues? Any nerve damage at all? Like. I get downright invasive. With my health questions.
(55:58 – 56:05)
If I’m going to be doing certain types of scenes. Because. I’m responsible for you.
(56:05 – 56:10)
And I don’t want to accidentally. You know. Give you a panic attack.
(56:12 – 56:19)
Whoops. So. All of which is to say.
(56:19 – 56:24)
I currently live in a condo. And somebody lives above me. So I don’t have a winch in my ceiling.
(56:26 – 56:35)
And I want one. What? What said? Waivers must be signed to play with Harper. I mean.
(56:35 – 56:40)
I’ve also been to. If you go to a dungeon. Like a professional dungeon.
(56:41 – 56:46)
Yeah you sign a liability waiver. Absolutely. You sign a liability waiver.
(56:47 – 56:52)
And it’s complete too. Because before you get to the liability waiver. You go through a checklist.
(56:52 – 57:00)
In which you answer questions about. So. What medications are you on? And why? Because sometimes that has an effect.
(57:00 – 57:04)
Where they’re like. Are you on anything? And why are you on it? If you’re like. Oh yeah.
(57:04 – 57:11)
I take this for vertigo. That’s kind of important for us to know. That you have vertigo.
(57:11 – 57:15)
Because we can trigger it. With some of the stuff that we’re going to do. Or.
(57:15 – 57:19)
Oh yeah. I have chronically low blood pressure. And if you startle me.
(57:19 – 57:30)
I’ll faint. Why are you here? What are you doing here? Why are you here? You’re going to faint. That’s terrible.
(57:32 – 57:37)
Yeah. You’ll answer a whole bunch of questions. And you will sign a waiver.
(57:37 – 57:41)
Saying yeah. I recognize. If I come in here.
(57:41 – 57:44)
And I do something really, really dumb. And get hurt. That’s my own problem.
(57:51 – 57:56)
You’re going to consent. One way or another. Part of what you consent to is.
(57:57 – 58:05)
We’re not responsible for your dumb ass. So pretty much. So like good vibes.
(58:05 – 58:10)
They sell vibrators. But they also have sex pillows. So if you’re interested in those.
(58:10 – 58:16)
Of the. Sex furniture. That’s the best.
(58:17 – 58:23)
Possible way. To get you into. Playing around.
(58:23 – 58:31)
With BDSM furniture. Under bed restraints. And sex pillows.
(58:32 – 58:38)
Are. The low cost. Low commitment end of.
(58:40 – 58:42)
BDSM. Play furniture. The.
(58:44 – 58:48)
Swings that go over the door. Those are pretty good. It’s all.
(58:49 – 58:54)
You can sit in this. And it gives you better leverage. For wall sex basically.
(58:55 – 59:00)
Which is great. You don’t have to rely on the fact that. My partner is going to hold me up.
(59:00 – 59:05)
And fuck me. You’re going to use the swing. To hold you up.
(59:05 – 59:12)
So now he can just fuck you. Better. Lower end.
(59:12 – 59:16)
Lower cost. Lower commitment. Easier to hide.
(59:16 – 59:21)
Easier to put away. Just get a trunk. Like a bench trunk.
(59:21 – 59:25)
For your bedroom. And put your shit in there. Clean it.
(59:25 – 59:29)
Before you’re done. Um. Mott said any outdoor swings.
(59:30 – 59:37)
I. No. You can mount. A sex swing outdoors.
(59:37 – 59:40)
I’ve seen that done. But the sex swings. They’re made out of material.
(59:40 – 59:44)
That’s often easier to clean. And more hygienic. And safer.
(59:47 – 59:53)
If it’s generally outdoors. All the time. I. I wouldn’t put my bare ass on that.
(59:54 – 59:59)
Okay. I hope you guys have learned something new. And interesting about.
(1:00:00 – 1:00:05)
Woodworking. And BDSM. Furniture.
(1:00:09 – 1:00:14)
Check out. WhoreSchool.net. That’s the new Whore School blog. It’s cool.
(1:00:15 – 1:00:20)
I promise you’re going to like it. Transcript coming soon. Um.
(1:00:20 – 1:00:26)
Thank you guys for listening. Whore School is adult sex education. About all sorts of weird shit.
(1:00:27 – 1:00:30)
Including. Yes. Woodworking.
(1:00:32 – 1:00:38)
I’m your host Harper. You can find my other blog. Fetishphonesexblog.com Or of course I am a professional.
(1:00:38 – 1:00:47)
You can call and speak to me. 800-601-7259 I do this stuff for fun. And money.
(1:00:49 – 1:00:56)
I will have all these links up in the Whore School discord server. Presently. For those of you who missed out.
(1:00:56 – 1:01:01)
Thank you all for listening. And I will see you all again next week. Stay warm.
(1:01:02 – 1:01:03)
Good night.
Find the Whore School Schedule right here, and remember to join the Whore School discord for more memes, connection, and all the resources used by Ms Harper for the show. Whore School is adult sex education with no fear, no guilt, and no shame!
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