If you’re in the Whore School discussion Discord, you know I was recently asked a question. And, if you ask me a question you’re gonna get an answer! Along with an entire podcast episode dedicated to what you wanted to know. In this case, the person asked about demisexuality, and thus, you’re all gonna learn! What does it mean to be demisexual? What is a fray-ro? Is a lithosexual really into lithographs?!!! Learn all about the various asexual and aromantic spectrum identities on May 24, 2026 with Whore School.
Asexual and Aromantic Identities
You’ve probably heard me talk about the forums on the AVEN site. Founded in the early 00’s, the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network is a longstanding internet force for better understanding and knowledge about asexual and aromantic identities. It’s also where the Split Attraction Model came from, and if you think that’s not worth a hearty Thank You and standing ovation all on its own you clearly don’t understand how important the model is! The folks at AVEN started out raising awareness and visibility for asexual persons, and then things spiraled, as they tend to do with us pesky humans when given access to an internet forum like the AVEN forums.
Split Attraction
The main takeaway, and why it’s important to you to know and understand: the Split Attraction Model posits that your sexual attraction, as in, who you want to do sexy things with, and your romantic attraction, as in, who you want to be romantic or partnered with, can be different. You may want to marry a person who is the opposite gender presentation to yourself, build a life with them, do the whole hetero married white picket fence routine and so on. And at the same time you can want, quite desperately, to have sex with a person or two, or more, who is the same gender presentation as yourself. You want a gay sexual relationship, and a hetero romantic relationship. How do you want two such diametrically opposed things? Split Attraction.
Micro-Identities
When you get a bunch of people together and start talking freely about how they experience their own attraction to others, or lack thereof, or even partial attraction if specific conditions are met first, you get a ton of asexual and aromantic micro-identities. It can seem overwhelming as fuck at first, because who expects you to remember all this?! No one expects you to remember all the micro-identities and what they all mean. I don’t remember them all without a cheat sheet and some notes! This does not mean all that mental energy and lip flapping was wasted, though. The micro-identities are extremely fucking useful, especially if they can make a person go “oh. Shit. That’s me! I’m not broken after all?!!” That’s what those labels are really for: explaining yourself to yourself first, and then to the people in your life that are important.
Join Whore School
The live adult sex education podcast for May 24, 2026 at 11 pm Eastern will be focused on the Asexual and Aromantic Spectrum, and you don’t want to miss out! I hope I’ve explained why it’s an important and valuable thing to know all about, and why it’s important to you and the people you care about. Join the live show, or catch the recorded podcast on your favorite podcast site. Just remember: roughly 10% of the population falls into the ace/aro spectrum, so someone you know is definitely impacted by this stuff! Like me! I’m aromantic, which explains why girlfriend experience sessions always did make me uncomfortable… Listen and learn, you will learn something, and it might be about yourself.
Your Micro-Identities Cheat Sheet Having Mistress, Harper
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