WS 505 Sexually Transmitted Bugs

Listen to “WS 505 Sexually Transmitted Bugs” on Spreaker.

 

WS 505 Sexually Transmitted Bugs

 

Learn everything you ever didn’t want to know about the bugs that live on and with us! Remember that there is no moral component to getting an infestation of bugs, of any sort, because unless you deliberately set out to cultivate a colony of mites to spread around to other people, none of these issues are your fault. With no cause, no intent, and no deliberate action taken to be exposed, you can’t be held to blame for yeast, fleas, lice, mites, or any other isses. Also, a fair number of these bugs are harmless, as long as they’re kept in check by a healthy immune system. When they get out of control, they are a problem, and you deserve to have your problems addressed and dealt with. Learn more with Sexually Transmitted Bugs.

 

(0:04 – 1:08)
Hopefully you heard that. I think my, uh, I think my, uh, headset, uh, batteries have run out. Whoops.

Welcome to Whore School, y’all. It’s time. I have to go run around and put the link in places so that people know where to go so they can all join.

God. A lot of clicking. Post and post and post.

Okay, so I feel like I need to warn y’all a little bit, and I’m dreadfully sorry. And by dreadfully sorry, I mean I’m not sorry at all. Gonna be a little teensy weensy little bit gross tonight.

(1:16 – 5:06)
Now, in addition to the fact that it’s going to be a little bit gross tonight, I’m also a sadist. So I’m going to giggle about this. Okay.

Your discomfort pleases me. I’m very sorry. I’m so sorry.

Hattie’s in here. She’s like, how gross. Well, we’re doing sexually transmitted bugs.

I mean it. You’re welcome. In pretty much the same way as if you go and listen to any of the episodes where I talk about anal sex, right? Look, you gotta put a towel down.

If you’re squeamish, use gloves. Don’t look. It’ll be okay.

But if you do anything with your butt, you know what comes out of your own ass. You’re gonna have to deal with it. Okay? You just put a towel down.

You’ll be fine. Everything’s washable. But this one, I’m kidding.

I have so many tabs open. So many for research for tonight. You are not prepared.

We’re gonna start. We’re gonna start easy. We’re gonna start with Candida.

Okay? Everybody’s got Candida. You should know what Candida is. It lives on you.

You have Candida. I guarantee it. You have Candida on your skin right this minute.

And that’s perfectly fine. In fact, the vast majority of what we’re gonna talk about tonight, if you have it on you, it’s only a problem because it bothers us. It’s itchy most of the time or bothersome or causes us to be uncomfortable in our living situation.

And honestly, feeling discomfort over the way that your body feels right this moment is a very, very good reason to take care of that issue. Whatever that is. Whatever the issue is.

Anything that upsets you or discomforts you or is uncomfortable or that you don’t enjoy, you deserve to go and deal with. And all of these are things that can be dealt with if it bothers you. But the vast majority of this, so like Candida, it’s not a problem.

Don’t listen to health influencers on TikTok or Instagram who tell you that you have to get rid of your Candida infestation. You can’t. Doing so would require that you, dear God, bathe in bleach.

You can’t. You can’t get rid of it. Over in the Enchantrix Empire Discord server.

So far joining us tonight, we have Miss Addie. She’s had Mott, Mint, and Pooverin. And Addie asked, is it like the walking dead virus? No, that’s choriopsis.

(5:06 – 7:23)
Completely different. Candida is normal. Pooverin says, I saw the Navy VD films that they showed the sailors before they went to foreign ports of call in the 90s.

So I may get PTSD. Penis terrorized squeamish discord. Candida, come on, y’all.

It’s yeast. Yeast lives on your skin. If you bathe on a regular basis, that alone is enough to keep the yeast on your skin in check.

If you have, I apologize for this description, you have moist folds on your body. Yeast likes warm, moist environments, armpits, your groin, and any crevices on your flesh. So joints, inside of your knees, inside of your hips, elbows, armpits.

If you have boobs, you got some titties. Where your breast tissue or your chest tissue overlaps onto or folds a little bit, any protuberance in that, the crevice underneath your boobies. Okay.

Your ass, the entire ass crack is a moist crevasse, especially if you’re sweaty. So most of the people who are listening to this are biologically or physically masculine. And so they may be thinking to themselves, well, at least I can’t get a yeast infection in my vagina.

I don’t have one. Yeah. Okay.

You can still get a yeast infection on your dick and your balls. What do you think smegma is made of? Okay. Dead skin cells, fluid excreted from your penis, which can include pre-cum jizz or tinkle and yeast.

(7:26 – 7:36)
Yeast. It’s moist. So most of the time, as long as you wash on a regular basis, you’re fine.

(7:37 – 9:12)
People who play sports have to deal with occasional yeast infections in their itchy bits. Because if you spend a lot of time being… Hey Callie. Callie has joined us.

If you spend a lot of time sweating and being physically active and getting hot, hot and sweaty. So I’ve known people who play a lot of golf. They get hot, they get sweaty, and then they get yeast.

Hey Callie. We’re talking about Candida. It lives on you.

And this is perfectly fine. If it becomes a problem, you go to your doctor and you say, doctor, doctor, I have a weird rash and I smell like bread. And your doctor goes, you have yeast.

All right, let’s deal with this. Now, health influencers will try to convince you that, well, what you have to do is buy my very expensive, fancy vinegar based drink and drink it so that you can change your body’s pH to deal with the yeast. You cannot change your body’s pH far enough to cause your body to suddenly become toxic to yeast.

It’s impossible. You can’t do it. It’s impossible.

(9:13 – 11:07)
Addie said, ooh, it smells like bread. Yeah. It smells like bread or sometimes like really stinky cheese.

Because some stinky cheese has yeast or other fungus in it. And technically Candida, single celled fungus. You have a fungus growing on you.

We all have it. If it starts getting excessive, like between your toes, you have athlete’s foot. If it’s between your legs, you have a yeast infection.

They suck. You ever get the urge to just like, you know, the dog and the dog and they sit on the floor and they scoot their butt, scratch. You ever get the urge to do that? You have yeast.

There’s a topical that you would apply to the areas that have a fungal bloom occurring with antifungals to take care of it. Okay. So yeast, it’s not a big deal.

I swear to God, it’s not a big deal. If it is a problem for you, it is a problem. You can wind up with yeast going crazy.

Um, if you don’t wash your clothes, if you don’t wash your towels, if you don’t wash your body, if you sweat a lot, if you get very, very hot and sweaty, and then you’re not clean. You, the yeast is going to go crazy. Um, if you have diabetes, if you’re immunocompromised, or if you have HIV, you are more susceptible to yeast going crazy.

That’s it. And then, also you have yeast living inside you as part of your, your gut biome to help you digest food. Uh, we like yeast.

Yeast is good. You also have mites. Don’t worry.

I’m going to tell you all about it. Mott’s already got his vomit erosion going. And Poovoran just called him a wimp.

(11:09 – 13:06)
Don’t worry. It gets worse from here. I have these ranked.

I’m least likely to make you go, ew, too. Brace yourself. So we’re going to go to the next, the next fun bug.

Trombiculidae. Trombiculidae. Chiggers.

They’re technically a mite that you can pick up on your skin. When you walk through tall vegetation, they fucking suck. We’re not a fan of goddamn Trombiculidae.

Fucking Chiggers. C-H-I-G-G-E-R-S. Chiggers.

You can get them on golf courses. You can get them in parks. They’re everywhere.

They’re fucking obnoxious. They will climb up on you and then bite you because you’re delicious. It’s technically the larval stage.

They bite you. They inject digestive enzymes into your skin and then they suck you right up. They, um, yeah, disgusting.

You wind up with like a weird, funny, bumpy rash all over your flesh and it can make you feel like something is living inside of you and it’s because they’re on you and then they make a hole, spit in it, and then eat that. So it’s the larvae. They, they do what they do to you and eventually they fall off and then they go on into their lives.

It’s just the Chigger larvae. Um, we don’t like them. They suck a whole bunch.

(13:06 – 13:28)
They’re terrible and itchy as fuck and also you wind up with these like weird pustules from them. So Ohio State University, the extension, the agricultural extension has a fact sheet. After you return from a Chigger infested area, launder your clothes in soapy hot water.

(13:28 – 13:49)
Take a hot bath or shower and soap repeatedly. You can get the Chiggers off of yourself, but you will still have the bites from where they were on you. You can use the usual stuff to deal with the fact that you have an itch.

(13:50 – 15:36)
The mites do not actually burrow into your skin. They just bite and fall off. The mite may be attached for up to three days though.

So what you really want to do is get it off of you. Hot soapy water, get it off of you. Some Chigger bites can carry diseases for you and make you ill.

Um, it can cause scrub typhus. It’s very, very uncommon. That’s more common in East Asia and South Pacific areas.

So, um, if you’re in that area, absolutely get it taken care of really, really quickly because yikes, but, um, you’re fine. Addie says, bubonic plague entered the chat. Not yet.

Mott says, just take a fire bath, hot bath, hot soapy bath. Kylie said, I had medicine give me a yeast infection a few years back. I had no idea what it was and thought I had VD.

Yes. Um, antibiotics can cause it. Like if you’re on antibiotics and then you’re like, I have a severe itch in all of my parts.

The doctor will be like, yep, you got a yeast infection. And then they just give you a surface. There’s a cream you put on it and you’ll be fine.

I mean, you’ll be itchy and uncomfortable, but you’ll be fine. Proven says, I just want to become a bubble boy. That’ll be safe, right? Maybe let’s talk about lice.

(15:39 – 16:53)
Told you you’re not alone. There are three types of lice, head lice, body lice, pubic lice. Yup.

The odds are extremely good that at some point in your lifetime, you have had lice living on you. It is extremely common. Human beings in close proximity to one another tend to pass things back and forth.

So when you first go off to say, university, you know how the first week you were great and the second week you got sick as shit because you were suddenly exposed to whatever people from all 50 states have been carrying and you got the super crud. Yep. Or if you go to like, you go to a comic con and then you get con crud.

Yep. Like that. You can also get bugs.

Yeah. Kylie said I had a powder and then a pill, but yes, it went quickly and went away. Yeah.

Yeah. They fix it. They fix it real fast.

(16:55 – 17:34)
Lice are also easy to fix. Um, head lice feed on your scalp. They’re easiest to see at the hairline on the neck and over the ears.

Body lice live in clothing and bedding and move onto the skin to feed and then they fall back off. Body lice most often affect people who can’t bathe or wash clothes often, such as people in refugee camps or who don’t have a home. Body lice are the ones that will spread disease.

Pubic lice, they look like tiny crabs. Symptoms, itching, scalp, body or genital area. If you’re like, see, and now I’m like scratching because I’m like, Ooh, itchy, itchy.

(17:36 – 17:42)
You might see them. They’re about the size of a sesame seed. There’ll be eggs on hair.

(17:44 – 17:49)
Uh, it looks kind of like dandruff. It does not brush out of your hair. It’s stuck to your hair.

(17:50 – 18:11)
You might get sores, uh, that’s caused from the scratching, scratching too much. You might actually see the bite marks from where they are feeding on you. You want to see a doctor as soon as you notice that you have these because head lice, body lice and pubic lice are gross.

(18:12 – 18:59)
They itch a lot and you can pass them back and forth between you and the people you live with, people you are close with. This is why we’re calling them sexually transmitted bugs because you can also get them through intimate physical contact. What to do when you notice you’ve got bugs.

Wash your clothing in hot water. Wash your towels. Lot said BRB.

I gotta take a quick shower. Wash yourself in hot water with soap repeatedly. Plenty of scrubbing.

Wash your bedding. Vacuum your mattress. Shake out your pillows real good.

(19:00 – 19:28)
Maybe hang them outdoors in UV. I go see a doctor. Um, you can, that’s for the pubic ones because odds are you have other things.

You can also go to your local store and purchase lice treatments. There are lice shampoos. There are leave-in treatments that go on your head.

(19:28 – 19:53)
Like you put it on your head and then you put a shower cap on and you leave it on for a while and then you take it off and you wash your hair and you have somebody who loves you a whole lot. Take a very fine comb or lice comb and they go through your hair and they pick out the knits so that the little eggs don’t hatch and start the cycle all over again. It’s gross.

(19:55 – 20:15)
Some people’s hair is more prone to lice than other people’s hair. There are some people who never ever get lice because their hair is just not likely to play host to it. Lucky bastards.

(20:18 – 20:26)
So ticks. Ticks are other bugs that sometimes do live on us. They’re parasitic arachnids.

(20:29 – 23:20)
Ixodida. Yeah, they’re big. Three to five millimeters.

Half a centimeter. That’s too big. Ticks are external parasites.

They feed on the blood of mammals, birds, sometimes reptiles, and amphibians. We don’t know how old ticks are, evolutionarily speaking, but I don’t like them. They’re not fun.

The main… Okay, so there’s two reasons you do not want to have ticks. One, ew. Two, they carry disease.

Ticks carry many kinds of pathogens. Bacterias, viruses, and protozoa. Typhus, rickettsial pox, botanois, fever, African tick bite fever, Rocky Mountain spotted fever, Flinders Island spotted fever, Queensland tick typhus, Lyme disease, Q fever, Colorado tick fever, Crimean-Congo hemorrhagic fever, yikes, tularemia, tick-borne relapsing fever, babesiosis, ehrlichiosis, bourbon virus, tick-borne meningioencephalitis, bovine anaplasmosis, and heartland virus, as well as, also, lone star disease.

That’s the one that makes you allergic to red meat. Allergic to red meat. You can’t eat beef.

No! Oh! Okay. If you have been in an area that has a lot of ticks, you want to get somebody who likes you a whole lot to check all your crevices because ticks will get on you, climb inside your clothing, and then find a nice, moist, warm crevasse somewhere on your body and make themselves at home. You often do not feel the bite, and the only way to find out you have a tick is to have somebody look.

And there it is. Look! There’s a tick. You’ll want a pair of tweezers with the, not the little needle-nosed tweezers, but, like, tweezers.

What you do. Yeah. Kylie says, my friend had an amazing dog that died last year from a lone star tick bite.

(23:21 – 25:02)
Yeah. We do not like ticks. So, to get a tick off of you, you want to grasp the thing as close to your skin as possible.

You’re trying to grip the head. And you’re just going to pull up with slow, firm, steady pressure. Don’t jerk at it.

I’ve seen people use, like, a hot needle, and they poke it to try to surprise it into letting go, or putting alcohol on it, or just grip the body and pull that off. If you grip the body, you can pull it off, yes, but you’ll leave the head behind. The head’s still stuck there.

Now it’s embedded, and you can get a nasty infection from that. You want to get the whole tick, all of it off. Whatever state you live in probably has a Department of Agriculture and Health Department.

So, what you want to do is Google state name tick examinations. And what you’re looking for in Texas, you can send a tick, you put it in a plastic baggie, and you can send it to your local health department, and they will run a test on it to tell you if that tick was carrying a disease or not, so that you can have warning before symptoms start for you. So you can go to your doctor and be like, I had a tick, and the health department says that it had this, and they’ll go, oh shit, let’s get you started on medicine right now.

(25:02 – 26:31)
Okay? Oh, I’m so sorry, Kylie. Good dogs are the best dogs. And ticks suck.

Fuck ticks. And yes, they’ll get on dogs. They get on your cats.

Your cats are outdoor cats. They get on you. We don’t like ticks.

Like I said at the start of the show, most of the things that will live on you, really a big deal. You have mites that live in your eyelashes. Not a big deal.

Eyelash mites? Nothing. Those are, they’re tiny cigar-shaped bugs at the base of your eyelashes. They only become a problem if they, if you have too many of them.

If you don’t wash, if you’ve been taking antibiotics, and now your immune system’s out of whack, and you don’t wash your face, and now you’ve got eyelash mites. They’re about a third of a millimeter long. They’re see-through.

They eat dead skin cells and a little bit of the oil. They clean your eyelashes for you. Most of the time, if you wash your face and you wash your eyes, it’s perfectly normal.

Like, they’re, they just hold on. They’re okay. If you have too many of them, you wind up with demodex.

(26:32 – 27:17)
So, demodex mites or demodex infection on your eyes. If your immune system goes down, if you’re older, you can get irritation around the eyelid. They can leave waste products that make your eyelashes, your eyes feel funny.

They can leave bacteria and give you infections on your eyes. They can make your eyelashes grow the wrong direction or become loose. It can trigger dandruff around your eyelashes.

Itching, burning, crusty, red edges on your eyelid. It can feel like there’s something in your eye. Irritation on the inside of your eyelid.

(27:17 – 27:31)
Blurry vision, eye pain. You go and the doctor looks at you and they go, yep, there are eye drops that you can do. Technically, you can also try tea tree oil.

(27:31 – 28:22)
That will burn like shit. They have creams or ointments like permethrin, ivermectin. Please stop taking ivermectin for a viral infection.

That’s not what it’s for. You can put it on your eyes for an eyeball mite. You put that on your eyes.

Basically, just keep yourself clean and you won’t have a problem with the stuff that lives on your life. Hoover says he just gave his dog a hug. Yes.

And he said, this is starting to get uncomfortable. My brain is very suggestible and it loves simulating symptoms. My eyes get red whenever I’m reading or seeing something about eyes.

(28:22 – 29:22)
I got so itchy when I was studying smallpox. Right now, I’m starting to feel my back and neck getting prickly. The odds are extremely good that you’re perfectly fine.

But yes, being very suggestible and being squicked out. Yeah. That’s the whole show.

Sorry. Mott says Whore School has side effects tonight. I mean, gosh, that would be bad.

Talk about pediculosis pubis. Pediculosis pubis. I skipped over pubic lice.

You’re welcome. But now we’re going to talk about it. We’ve reached the half hour mark.

(29:23 – 29:36)
So far, yeast, not a big deal, unless it gets out of control. And then you get to go take some antifungal stuff and deal with that. Eyelash mites, not a big deal, unless it gets out of control.

(29:37 – 29:43)
Head lice, not a big deal. You can take care of that. You basically put pesticide on your head.

(29:43 – 29:53)
Please only use the correct one that you buy from the store that says it’s for head lice. Please and thank you. And also do not use head lice treatment on your crop.

(29:56 – 30:25)
That is a jokes on you. I don’t have pubes. That is one way to deal with it.

Hell yes. Not having hair because they freaking live on the hair. Are we going to do a quick poll on who’s shaved and who’s not? These are only a problem because they’re annoying and irritating.

(30:25 – 32:50)
Pubic lice are very annoying and extremely irritating. Usually acquired during sex could be spread through sharing bedding, clothing, and towels. More common in crowded conditions where there’s close contact between people.

You go to the gym, some gyms provide you with towels. If the gym isn’t washing their towels in extremely hot water, they can spread some things. Things can spread.

The main symptom is an intense itch in the groin, particularly at night. Nobody likes that. Blue-gray discoloration at the feeding site.

They bite you. The eggs and body lice, pubic lice, may be visible. Scratch marks because you scratch, especially if you’re scratching at night.

If your hands aren’t clean and your groin’s not clean and you scratch yourself real good, you can cause a secondary bacterial infection and get infected because you’re dirty. Usually it’s diagnosed by looking at it. Somebody has to look at the fucking knit and go, or lice, and go, yep, there it is.

That’s a problem. Most of the time, if you wind up with pubic lice, your healthcare provider is also going to test you for other sexually transmitted illnesses, especially if you’re like, no, I don’t go to the gym. I don’t share a bed with people unless we’re fucking, right? I don’t share towels.

I don’t share clothing. And then, well, then the way you got it was through fucking. Somebody screwed you, and then they screwed you.

And he says, yay, cross-contamination. Yes. Cross-contamination.

(32:53 – 34:54)
Permethrin. It’s a medication and an insecticide. It’s used to treat the things that we don’t want on our bodies anymore.

It is usually a topical treatment, powder, cream, lotion, pray that you put onto your body. Two rounds of treatment, at least a week apart, are usually required. You must wash your bedding in hot water, wash your clothing in hot water to kill what’s on your clothing and bedding.

Transmission can be prevented by avoiding sexual contact until no signs of infestation exist anymore. You may also have to comb your pubic hair with a comb dipped in vinegar to try to get it off. Okay, so pubic lice, body lice, and head lice are found in every population of human beings.

Every race, every ethnic group, every continent, they are fucking everywhere. No one is exempt. Kylie’s like, could I just get my pubic hair permed? Ruevren says braided.

Technically you could. I don’t think that that would actually help with preventing pubic lice. I don’t think it would help with pretty much anything.

(34:55 – 35:19)
Kat says hi. I know. I know it’s terrible.

She’s like, uh, you’re supposed to be in bed by now, God. Kitty. You can get pubic lice on your eyelashes.

(35:26 – 36:49)
Sorry, I think that’s funny. Gross, but funny. You’re usually three weeks after the first infestation, you’ll start to finally notice because there’ll be enough of them on you that you have an intense itch.

Most of this is because when they bite you, they have saliva and most humans are allergic to it. You might see them crawling on your skin, take a shower, and louse droppings may be noticed as a black powder in the underwear. Scratch marks, crusting, scarring, rust colored material.

That’s, it’s bug shit. Blood stained underwear and secondary bacterial infection may sometimes be seen. It may cause large lymph nodes in your groin and armpits because your immune system’s going, oh shit, because of the allergic reaction.

(36:49 – 38:14)
Some people don’t have any symptoms, weirdos. You can treat, uh, any of the lice infestations on your body, wherever they are, with at-home treatments. Hermethrin or pyrethrin or piperarynyl butoxide as a topical application.

So like RID shampoos, Pronto, Lyside, all of those you can use on your groin. Use it the way that the packaging says to use it for the specific infection that you have. Do not get cute and think, well, I’m just going to buy three packages of this and use it all and smother it.

Your poor groin, use it, use it by in, according to instructions. You should also tell the people that you’re having sex with that you have this issue and that you will not be having sex with them until you have dealt with it and that they also need to go and check themselves to make sure that they don’t have it. Because like, like I said, it takes three weeks for symptoms to show up and you could have been passing it that whole time.

(38:20 – 41:32)
Addie says, that must be a fun conversation with the doctor. Like how dentists know when you deep throat, they’ll just know what you’ve been up to. I mean, it is possible to get it through, like if you go to the gym and the gym provides towels and they didn’t wash the towels.

Like it’s possible to get these things other ways. Um, but yeah, there’s, there’s a reason I called this episode sexually transmitted bugs. Kylie said, I love it when Harper gives me names for all my future D&D characters.

Mott said, Smegma was a winning name. Please don’t name a dwarf character. Smegma.

That’s bad. If you get them on your eyelashes, do not put topical pesticide on your eyes. Okay.

You’re going to use forceps. You might have to remove or trim your eyelashes or petroleum jelly. Just put mother those fuckers.

Despite all of my jokes about how you should wash really, it’s not necessarily a thing that happens. If you are dirty, if you go too long without bathing and are in a crowded condition, yeah, you could wind up with fleas, lice on your head, your body or your pubic area, yeast, run amok, et cetera. You can wind up with these things just because people in refugee camps, people in, um, uh, for example, folks who are currently being detained for whatever reason, people in prison, people in detention camps.

These are problems. Overcrowding causes these issues to get worse, especially overcrowding in an unsanitary condition. There is no moral component to having contracted or gotten infested with these sorts of bugs.

They’re things that humans have been dealing with basically forever. Earlier, somebody made a joke in the chat about bubonic plague. Bubonic plague was spread by fleas that lived on rats.

If you get bubonic plague now, which is still possible, it’s still out there. It exists. Why pestis? Antibiotics will clear that right up.

(41:33 – 41:53)
Like, you’ll be fine. We know how to deal with this now. But the people who, the main problem was that, um, they thought the cats were spreading it.

So they killed the cats. The cats were keeping the rat population in check. And then all of a sudden you’ve got extra rats with extra fleas.

(41:53 – 42:36)
And now more, even more people are getting sick. We learn as we go. Okay.

It wasn’t the cats. It was the rats and the fleas that carried it. It was flea bites that got you.

So if you wind up with, um, lupus, or if you get the Lone Star tick disease, if you get chagas from those motherfucking little bugs that land on you and bite the shit out of you, and now you’ve got chagas. Fuck that shit. There’s no moral, oh, it’s because you were bad.

(42:38 – 44:09)
No, you were just unlucky. That’s all that was. You were just really unlucky, which is why when people are like, oh, I want to go and have wild, crazy sex.

Great. Visually inspect your partners. If you see things, like if you see a funny rash, if you see bumps, if you see a weird discoloration, don’t fuck them.

Talk about scabies. Scabies. Sarcoptes scabii.

Variety hominis. Scabies are a mite. M-I-T-E.

Little mite. Just like your eyelash mites. They’re a type of bug.

Sarcoptes. It’s also sometimes called the seven year itch. It’s sometimes seven year itch is, uh, when you’ve been in a relationship for seven years, and now you’re suddenly horny and you want to go out.

So the reason why scabies is sometimes conflated with that version of the seven year itch is because if you go cheat on your partner and then come back with mites. Ta-da. Scabies are extremely common in crowded settings.

(44:10 – 44:19)
Care homes. So like the old folks home has scabies. Schools.

Refugee camps. Prisons. Hospitals.

(44:20 – 46:07)
It makes you itch. You itch, you get a pimple-like rash. Sometimes.

Brace yourselves. Tiny burrows may appear on the skin from eggs that are about to hatch. Yup.

They crawl in your skin. In your skin. Your first time, it’s usually about three weeks before you start developing symptoms.

If you get it again after that, within 24 hours, the symptoms can be present across your whole body or in certain areas. Wrists. Fingers.

Along the waistline. Places where like clothing is tight or against your skin a lot. That’s where you get it.

Sometimes you get it on your head. Super uncommon. The itch is often worse at night because your brain doesn’t have other stuff to focus on.

And again, scratching on it can make it worse. Poohverin said, I did get something in college. I don’t remember exactly what.

Itchy urethra. A little weepy. There’s a whole bunch of stuff that could have been easily treatable.

Yeah, most of them are. Like if you have a problem with your bits anywhere on your body and you’re like, well, that’s weird. Why is that itch? Go talk to a doctor.

(46:08 – 46:16)
They’ll be like, dumbass. At most. Most of them though are just gonna be like, yep.

(46:17 – 47:19)
You got a thing. Take this. Take the whole prescription.

Follow the instructions that they tell you to do. Obey. Please don’t help chlamydia become even more resistant to bacteria, to our antibacterials.

Like, please don’t do that. But you know, take this stuff. Antibacterial resistant gonorrhea, antibacterial resistant chlamydia.

They exist because people are stupid. Poohverin said, bodies are messed up. Why does the one thing that makes it feel better also make it worse? I.e. scratching.

Bodies. Bodies are just messed up. You have scabies.

(47:20 – 47:53)
Your doctor will tell you if you have scabies. They will look at your rash and go, hey, that looks like scabies. That sucks.

Wash. And also, every member of the household is also going to have to get in on this because it spreads. It spreads really easily.

Pucking somebody can give it to you. Like, we joke about how it’s sexually transmitted. Yeah, it’s close physical contact transmitted.

(47:56 – 48:39)
Recent prolonged contact with somebody. That’s it. Okay.

You have to treat the infestation. You also have to try to control the itchiness. You’re going to wash bedding, clothing, towels, anything used in the previous three days because they don’t live very long off the body.

Wash in hot water. Dry it in a hot dryer. There are two different types of scabies.

There’s crusted scabies and common scabies. Crested scabies. You don’t want to see this picture.

(48:41 – 48:55)
Crested scabies are the elderly, disabled, and people with impaired immune systems. If you have HIV and AIDS or cancer, or if you’re on immunosuppressive medications, you can get crested scabies. They’re also called Norwegian scabies.

(48:57 – 49:34)
Because you have a weaker immune system, you get more scabies. They spread over the host’s body, except for the face. There’s just a lot more of them.

Wikipedia says sometimes up to 2 million in one person. People with crested scabies have scaly rashes, itching, and thick crusts of skin that contain large numbers of scabies mites. People with crested scabies are more contagious.

(49:37 – 49:49)
It makes eradicating the mites particularly difficult. The crusts protect the mites, necessitating prolonged treatment of these areas. The picture is dire.

(49:52 – 50:22)
In some areas of the world, our number one choice for treating scabies is permethrin. In 2022, studies in Turkey showed some patients failed to improve. The scabies mites that were analyzed were still sensitive to the permethrin.

(50:22 – 51:48)
There was a 2024 study in Austria that showed permethrin-resistant scabies in three out of four cases studied. Yikes. Permethrin is the first choice.

Ivermectin can be effective in eradicating scabies. It is also the treatment for crested scabies. It is sometimes prescribed in combination with a topical agent.

It hasn’t been tested on this extremely young… gross. Most of the time… I’m about to gross y’all out one more time. Addy says, I believe you.

Won’t look for the pictures. Yeah, don’t look for the pictures. I regret looking at that.

Most of the time… I’ve done animal rescue work with dogs. I know there are two different types of mange that dogs can get. Dermadex mange.

Usually, I’m pretty certain that’s the one that’s not a real super big deal. Let me double check. Mange in dogs.

(51:51 – 52:50)
Dermadetic mange and sarcoptic mange. Okay, I was right. Dermadetic mange isn’t a big deal in dogs because you can’t get it.

The dog has the issue and they… you do the treatment, they get plenty of baths and they get like treatment for it and then they’re fine. Sarcoptic mange. We don’t like that because remember what scabies are called? You remember that? You remember what I called it? Sarcoptes.

Sarcoptic mange in dogs, people can get. It’s scabies. Which also means if you have scabies, you can give it to your dog.

(52:52 – 52:59)
Now your dog’s got sarcoptic mange off of you. This is rare. It’s unlikely to happen.

(52:59 – 53:47)
You don’t really have to worry about it because as long as you’re taking care of it, the first sign of uh-oh, then you’ll be fine. If you are immunocompromised, elderly, if you have something going on with your immune system that means you cannot fight it off as well and you wind up with crested scabies. That’s the one.

If you’ve ever seen a dog with mange, that is the worst on a person. It’s gross. It’s bad.

Okay? So, but there’s a treatment for it. We can deal with that. But also, I would, if I was in charge of administering the treatment, I would do it from like 10 feet away.

(53:48 – 55:33)
Right? I get one of those um those reacher grabber things and I’d be like, okay I need you to take this from a distance and rub this all over your skin. No, I can’t do it for you. You have to do that.

I’m over here and you’re over there. Oh, now I itch. All right.

Again, it’s not a moral judgment. It’s just, oh, that’s gross. You need all the medicated baths.

For dogs, it’s a medicated bath and you have to put the stuff on them and then they sit in the bathtub with this horrific sulfur-smelling compound all over their skin going, why, why have you abandoned me? Because you’re doing something that they think is mean, but it helps and it makes their skin feel better and eventually they, you know, regrow their hair and itch less. So honestly, of the things that live on us and cause us problems, scabies meets my personal tippy tippy top of the list of, oh god, no. And yes, I have known people who had scabies.

One of my friends, the idiot gay boy, who went out and he had gay sex with somebody and they gave him scabies. He got scabies from bad gay sex because he was like, yeah, they got off, but I didn’t. And now I’ve got scabies.

(55:41 – 56:18)
You know, my dog is in bed with me right now, right? As long as you don’t have scabies, you’re fine. It’s great. You’re fine.

So yeah, I have known somebody who had scabies that they got from sex and I was so nice, y’all. I was so nice. I did not explain in excruciating detail exactly what that was.

I was like, oh wow, that really sucks. No, you need to stay like way over there. No, I don’t need a hug.

Thanks. Cause I know what scabies is. Like, oh, you got mange.

(56:23 – 57:15)
I was so nice. I didn’t tell him what was going on. I wanted to, but I didn’t.

I was so nice. Where is it? But your head hurt from keeping it in. It did.

It was so difficult. Oh, it’s still fucking funny. Bad gay sex.

He got scabies. Okay. There is no moral component to getting a lovely parasite, bug, or fungus living on you.

(57:16 – 57:26)
You have mites that live on your face and they’re supposed to be up there. They help keep your eyelashes clean. It’s just when there are too many of them that you have a problem.

(57:27 – 58:41)
Yeast lives on your body. It’s supposed to be there. We can’t get rid of it.

It serves a purpose. It becomes an issue when there’s too much of it in places we don’t want that much yeast. That’s when it’s a problem.

Scabies are a problem because it itches like a bitch and it’s kind of gross. Lice are a problem because it itches like a bitch. Like it bothers us.

It’s irritating. Therefore, you deserve to go and get that dealt with and have it scrubbed from your flesh. Fleas itch.

That’s why the dogs are on flea and heartworm and tick control. Ticks suck. They carry disease.

Fuck ticks. Mosquitoes. They don’t live on us, they do bite us, and they can carry illness.

Fuck mosquitoes. Okay, fine. Some mosquitoes can stick around because like bats eat them, but still.

Boo. You want possums because possums eat ticks. Thank you.

You want bats because bats eat mosquitoes. Yes. I don’t know what eats fleas.

(58:42 – 59:41)
I’m sure something must. They’re tiny. Something eats those.

I just don’t know what. Lizards, maybe. And he says it will have to be smooth from the hairline down.

This episode got my eyebrows itching. And bats eat mosquitoes? Hell yeah, they do. Bats eat a lot of mosquitoes.

We love bats. So, I know, super gross topic, right? But we were all very brave. Very adult.

Good job, us. We now have learned important things about our bodies and about sexually transmitted bugs. If you have a bug, just go see a healthcare provider and get that taken care of.

(59:42 – 1:00:38)
It’s entirely possible that you can go and buy something over the counter and thus never have to be embarrassed. Just make sure to tell the people you live with and are in close physical contact with that, hey, I have a thing. You should also treat yourself for the thing so that we can completely eradicate it.

Because if you treat yourself, but no one else in the household does, they’re going to get it and give it back to you. Enlightened self-interest. Okay, Whore School is adult sex education with a heavy emphasis on education tonight.

Less on sex, more on just education. Remember, if you want to go and have wild anonymous sex, visually inspect the zone and the whole person. Like, look at them.

(1:00:40 – 1:01:57)
If you see a bug, don’t fuck them. If you see a funny looking rash, if you see anything that makes you go, hmm, do not have sex with that person. Leave them with blue balls.

Ghost them, bitches. Wash your bodies. Wash your asshole.

Use warm water and soap, please. As hot as you can handle it. Come on, bitches.

Try to stay up to date with all of your vaccines, please and thank you. Remember, you need a tetanus shot every 10 years. Do you know when you last had a tetanus shot? Hmm.

Check out whoreschool.net. That is the blog for Whore School. I am Harper. I’m a professional.

I do phone sex. You can call me at 800-601-7259. Ask to speak to Harper because I will rock your world with random fun facts about Sarkoptes.

Thank you guys for listening and I will see you all again next week. Good night.

 

Find the Whore School Schedule right here, and remember to join the Whore School discord for more memes, connection, and all the resources used by Ms Harper for the show. Whore School is adult sex education with no fear, no guilt, and no shame!